


Stop Me Going Home

by PanickingTara



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Angst, Child Abuse, Gay, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Slow Burn, Underage Drinking, Underage Smoking, also ray goes to a private school because i think thats funny, gerard has a sick car, i am losing my mind, ill probably add more tags later, like actually very gay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-02
Updated: 2020-05-17
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:48:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 19
Words: 25,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23438731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PanickingTara/pseuds/PanickingTara
Summary: Frank has a hard home life that Gerard doesn't know much about. Will writing songs and having heart-to-hearts be enough to save Frank and share his secrets, or will he never be able to bring light to his darkness?High school AU
Relationships: Frank Iero/Gerard Way
Comments: 62
Kudos: 43





	1. Secrets

**Author's Note:**

> tw for mentions of child abuse and bad mental health

Frank had always hated his home life. His parents never understood his problems, and if anything, the just disregard him as a whole. His depression was bad, his mental health has been declining, and no, it had nothing to do with the change of weather. 

Sometimes, Frank felt that the only person there for him was his crush and best friend, Gerard Way. He met him a few years back at a Green Day concert, and they became so close that Frank was able to convince his mother to let him transfer to Gerard's high school. 

Frank had developed a crush on Gerard right after meeting him, and they hit it off from the start. They both loved Green Day, they both loved comic books, and they shared a passion for music. Every single day, they would hang out with each other and have a beer or two, and they'd talk about what kind of songs they're going to come out with when they become famous.

Recently, however, Frank has been distancing himself from Gerard. Gerard just assumed that he's busy, but that's far from the truth. Frank has been keeping something from his best friend and not sharing everything that happens at home like he used to. 

His mother has been verbally abusing him for years, and Gerard knew about it. Frank would stay up all night texting Gerard while crying, begging him to pick him up and take him to Gerard's home. Gerard has been able to pick him up in the past, but after his mother caught on to Gerard being Frank's safe haven, she shut that down, and she would turn him away at the door and not allow Frank to go and be with the one person he trusted with his whole being. 

Now though, the verbal abuse has become physical, and his mother has been hitting him. He hasn't told Gerard because he's so afraid that his mother will find out and hurt him even worse. She's making his depression even worse, and he doesn't know what to do now, except keep what is happening to himself for fear of his own safety. 

Just a half hour ago, his mother hit him. He can't do anything about it, because he has been taught to never hit a woman, so he just takes it. 

He sits on the floor looking at his comic books, and his phone lights up beside him.

-hey, just checking in on u, frankie. u havent called me in a week. r u ok?

Frank contemplates just ignoring Gerard, because frankly, he's really emotional right now, even though he has calmed down from crying just a little bit ago, he still feels like his tears could come back at any time is someone wants to show him just a little love. After some thought though, he decides that because Gerard means so much to him, the least he could do is reply to a simple text message.

+im ok. just been rlly busy.

Another message pops up a minute later.

-can i call u?

+im busy gee

-come on man. just let me hear ur voice so i know ur alive and its not ur dumbass mom pretending 2 b u

+fine

His phone lights up with the caller screen just seconds after Frank sends his message, and instantly, Frank regrets agreeing to letting Gerard call. He lets it ring a few times, but he gives in to his friend, and answers the call. He takes a deep breath and holds his iPhone 4 to his ear.

"Hey," Frank says.

"Hey, darling. I missed your voice, what's up?" Gerard asks, sounding way too cheerful.

"Nothing really. I've been writing music, but other than that, nothing much has been going on," Frank says.

"Put me on speaker and play me some," Gerard says. Frank's face flushes into a deep red color, and he's embarrassed, and he's really thankful that he can't see him right now. 

"Uh, I don't know about that. You can hear it in person," Frank tells him. He can hear Gerard sigh through the phone.

"Are you really alright, baby?" Gerard asks. Frank smiles at the use of the pet name he called him. He secretly loves when he calls him sweet names that, and every time he calls him those names, he wishes that they were something more, but being a bottom, what else can he do?

"I don't know. Home life sucks, my mother won't let me leave because it's summer, and I guess I'm supposed to clean up all her shit all day and not do anything for myself," Frank says, trying to open up without actually opening up. 

"Hey, just two more weeks, and we'll be at school again, ready to begin our senior year. I got these cool new kicks, Frankie, all the boys are gonna be falling for me," Gerard says. Frank feels jealousy over that comment, but he doesn't mention anything.

"Can't wait to see them. And you. Miss you, Gee, but I'm really busy, and I've gotta go," Frank says. 

"Alright, darling. Stay safe. See you later. Bye," Gerard says, and he hangs up before Frank says goodbye because that's what he always does. Frank drops his phone to the ground and curls his knees to his chest. He rests his brow on the top of his knees, and his eyes start watering. 

As much as he loves Gerard, sometimes he can't stand how nice he is to him. Gerard bullies a lot of people who even look at him wrong, and be bullies his other friends and his brother, Mikey, just to be an asshole, but he has a soft spot for Frank, and is rarely ever mean to him. With all the pain his mother has been putting him through, having someone just show a small kindness to him hurts worse than his mom hurts him sometimes.

He isn't able to cry for a long time though, because a person barging into his bedroom shuts that down.

"Frank, get your lazy ass off the ground and clean up the damn kitchen before I beat your ass again!" His mom yells at him. Frank wipes his eyes and stands up and walks out of his room as his mother stands in the doorway. She pushes him, and yells at him again.

"Hurry up!" She yells. Frank starts moving his feet faster into the kitchen.

"Yes, ma'am."


	2. The Overpass

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for mentions of past self harm and child abuse

Twelve more days. That's all Frank has to wait for now, and then school will start and he will be able to chill there all day and then some. Home will feel so small, hopefully as small as he feels right now, laying down in the bathtub and letting the cold water hit his stomach and chest, trying to numb the bruises his mother put on him. 

It's no use, he feels. Water won't make the pain go away or make him heal. They only thing that could do that is removing him from his "home" entirely. That, or Gerard suddenly becoming his hitman in shining armor, which is unlikely, though the chances of it happening are never zero.

Taking in a deep breath, Frank sits up in the bathtub, the water feeling useless to him now, all he thinks that could come out of this is hypothermia and maybe premature death. He turns off the water and grabs his towel and wraps it around his too-skinny form and groans as he tries to stand up. A knock at the door makes him roll his head back.

"What?" He asks, already irritated at the voice he hasn't even heard yet.

"That boy with the red hair is here. Get your ass out of here before I change my mind. Be back before seven!" His mother calls through the door. In an instant, Frank doesn't feel as hopeless he felt five minutes ago, and he starts hurrying to get dressed.

"I will be. I promise!" Frank calls back to her, trying to hide the excitement in his voice as he gets his oversized dark grey t-shirt on. He doesn't bother drying off his hair, and he leaves the bathroom and runs to his bedroom to grab his pair of black converse.

He rushes to the front door, not saying goodbye to his mother, and he runs to the driveway to where Gerard is leaning against his beat up 1978 Pontiac Firebird Trans Am with a cigarette between his lips. Frank stops a few feet in front of him, and Gerard smiles as he drops his cigarette on the ground and steps on it with the toe of his docs. 

"Hey, baby," Gerard says softly, holding his arms out to Frank. Frank lets out a breath he didn't realize he was holding as he steps into the hug his best friend offered, and he holds on tightly.

"I really missed you, Gee," Frank whispers. He feels his voice starting to crack, and he can't break down while he's still at home and his mom still has the ability to make him come back inside, or even worse, show Gerard the pain she's been causing him. 

"Missed you too. Let's get out of here, yeah?" Gerard says. Frank nods his head and steps out of the hug and walks over to the passenger side and sits down, waiting for Gerard to drive them to wherever he feels like taking them. 

Ten minutes later, they're on an abandoned highway sitting on the overpass with their legs dangling off the edge while sharing a beer.

"Why have you been ignoring my calls?" Gerard asks, handing Frank the bottle. He takes it and tips his head back and drinks a few gulps. "That bad?" Gerard asks with a concerned look on his face. Frank lowers the bottle and shakes his head.

"No, I told you a few days ago. I've just been busy," Frank says, bringing the beer back to his lips and trying to drink more, but he feels Gerard's hand cover his, and he lowers his hand and lets Gerard take the bottle back.

"Talk to me Frank, that's why I'm here," Gerard says. Frank shakes his head so slightly that if Gerard hadn't have been paying close attention, he probably wouldn't have even seen it. Next to him, Frank watches Gerard set the bottle down and reach for his right hand. He holds it with his left hand, and his right hand softly runs up and down his forearm over pale white scars from when Frank used to self harm in his freshman year before he met Gerard. Frank looks up to the sky and closes his eyes as he feels the tears coming.

"Are you alright?" Gerard asks, still gently rubbing his forearm. Frank makes the decision to lie, and he nods his head. "I'm okay," He says, looking back down and wiping his eyes with his left hand. He looks to his friend, who still is watching him with that concerned look.

"I'll be here when you're ready to talk, alright?" Gerard says. Frank nods, so Gerard lifts the beer bottle back up and hands it to Frank, who quickly downs the rest, and then they both get up and go back to Gerard's badass car.

"I've been working on some music for our future band. Ray was starting to write a few riffs for it, and he was thinking that when school starts back up, once a week or so we can go up to his house in Mona Shores and practice in his garage," Gerard says. Frank can't help but laugh.

"I can't believe he chose to finish his years of high school at Mona Shores Academy when his parent's offered to let him transfer. He's like the most emo kid there and he can't even dress how he wants," Frank says. Gerard nudges him.

"His choice, baby. He's got good grades anyway. You and I, we would lower his GPA just by being in the same room as him," Gerard says. Frank smiles at him, "You'd probably beat his ass the first day he'd get here, too. He wouldn't know how to act around misfits like us anyway." Gerard smiles and nods. "Damn right, I would."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See what I did there with Gerard's car? I'll give you a hint: Danger Days. I wrote this last night around 11, and my dad walked into my bedroom. You have absolutely no idea how fast I closed the tab and opened up pinterest to pretend I was getting stuff for my sims. Anyways, after that heart attack, I finished what I was writing, and now I'm here to share with the class. Feedback is appreciated ♥


	3. First Days Shouldn't Exist

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigger warning for mentions of depression and weight in the first paragraph only, and child abuse later on

It's the night before the first day of senior year, and everyone is stressed. Frank's mom is sitting on the couch with a beer and she's bitching about the contestants on Jeopardy. Frank is in the bathroom trying on the clothes his mother bought him earlier today at the Goodwill. Most of the jeans are too big, and all of the shirts are ugly, but they fit. He's pretty sure his mom just asked someone where the mens clothes were and she grabbed the first ten things she saw. He looks at himself in the mirror and pulls up his jeans. His favorite pair are the ripped black ones, but they're so big on him. He told his mother the size he needed, and she did get the sizes he requested, but they're big, and he knows why. This summer, he lost a lot of weight. Being depressed and scared to leave his room, the only times he really ate was when he was with Gerard, and those days were few and far between. With a sigh, he decides that just looking at himself isn't going to change anything, so he gathers up his new clothes and starts to walk back to his bedroom. His mom looks at him from the sofa, seemingly expecting him to say something, so he does.

"Thank you, Mother. They fit fine," He says quietly. She nods at him, and he finishes the short walk to his room. Glancing at the clock hanging above his bed, he sees that it's close to midnight. He should have been in bed hours ago. He has to wake up in just six hours. Feeling defeated, he puts his clothes away after choosing his outfit for tomorrow, and he turns out his light and lays in his bed. He checks his phone and notices there's a couple missed texts from Gerard at around nine.

_(8:58pm)-frank, u there?_

_(9:09pm)-frank_

_(9:22pm)-frannnnnnkieeee_

_(9:29pm)-answer ur phone asshole_

_(9:42pm)-fine. ignore me_

Each of his messages were sent about ten minutes apart, and Frank feels bad now.

_(11:46pm)+hey im here_

He waits a few minutes, but there isn't a reply. He shuts his phone off and plugs it in. He pulls his blanket up over his shoulders and curls up, ready to enter a dreamless sleep or a restless night. Regardless of what he gets, He's tired, and he just wants to be comfortable for just a few hours before he is sent back to school.  
  


***

A door slamming the wall and a voice screaming at him wakes up Frank.

"What the hell are you still doing in bed huh?! Damn it Frank, you missed the fucking bus!" His mother screams at him. He's barely awake when he feels her reach out and grab his hair and pull it, and his eyes can't even adjust to the light before he feels a blow to his face. He reaches up to touch his lip after she lets go.

"What time is it?" Frank asks, tasting blood in his mouth. His mother glares at him and points at the clock. He's late. He's really late. 

"Shit!" Frank mutters, noticing that he's two hours late to class. There's no way he's going to get there before his third hour, especially because he's going to have to walk now because the state took his moms license away. 

"Get your ass up and go!" His mom yells at him, turning on her heel and leaving his room and slamming his door shut on the way out. He looks at the wall that the door slammed into. It left a hole. He groans and falls back on his bed and checks his phone. Three missed messages from Gerard, and one from his little brother who is a freshman.

_(7:52am)-bb where the fuck r u??_

_(8:03am)-frankie ur gonna miss attendance get ur ass over here_

_(8:59am)-dude u missed first period r u ok?_

_(9:14am)~Frank, Gerard is asking where you are. Please answer him so he gets off my ass._

Frank knows he's not able to reply to his friends right now, so he leaves them on read and starts getting ready for school. He puts on a pair of dark blue jeans that actually fit because he doesn't have any time to try looking for a belt. 

When his clothes are on, he goes to the bathroom to get his deodorant and brush his teeth. One look at himself in the mirror though, makes him sick to his stomach, and he's tempted to try and convince his mother to call in sick, but he knows if he frustrates her any more today, he's going to get much more than a split and bruised lip. He continues to try and clean himself up, but no matter what he tries, he's not going to be able to cover his face well enough.

Dreading leaving, he goes back to his bedroom and puts on his black converse and a black hoodie, and he pulls his hood up. He puts on his backpack and grabs his phone and opens his window and jumps out it. His mom will know eventually that he left if she cares enough to go to his room and notice that he isn't there. 

He starts walking to his shitty high school and he texts Gerard back. 

_(9:51am)+srry im on my way now. overslept._

_(9:54am)-shit man, u gotta get here. theres an assembly at 10:30._

_(10:01am)+ill be there asap_

Frank is relieved that Gerard doesn't seem upset with him for being late, and he starts walking faster so he doesn't have to walk in during the assembly and embarrass himself. 

He gets to his school about ten minutes before the assembly and he checks himself into the office. They don't make him take off his hood, and he's thankful for that. He goes to the bathroom in the fine arts wing of the school to hide in there and wait to be dismissed to the assembly. On his way in the bathroom, he accidentally runs into someone.

"Watch it, punk," The person grumbles. He knows that voice, but he's not in the mood to pick a fight with one of Gerard's enemies, Bert McCracken. He continues his way into the bathroom, and it looks no better than it did for the past three years. Graffiti still litters the walls, but it fits the schools aesthetic, so no one has bothered cleaning it up. Either that, or the school is just too poor to buy paint to cover up everything. Frank and Gerard once added to the mess. What they wrote has since been covered up, but he remembers. Sophomore year, they drew a heart in bright neon green sharpies with the letters "MCR" in it. Frank has since forgotten what the letters meant. Gerard told him the day they wrote it, and he told him that one day those three letter will save someones life. Frank smiled and told him that he was an idiot, but he liked it regardless. 

He goes over and runs his fingers along the wall where their heart had been, and he takes out his phone.

_(10:28am)+come to the bathroom by mr bulsara's class when ur done with art_

_(10:28am)-omw_

Only a minute later, Gerard enters the bathroom. He walks up to Frank and hugs him for a moment.

"Hey, how are you?" Gerard asks, letting go of him. Frank shrugs, and he watches Gerard shrink down a little to be able to see Frank under his hood. Frank already knows that Gerard saw his lip, and he crosses his arms over his chest and looks at the wall. 

"What happened here?" He asks softly, reaching for the back of Frank's hood and pulling it down. Frank doesn't stop him, and when Gerard lifts his chin up, Frank doesn't look him in the eye.

"I was just dumb. Fell off my bed and landed on something," Frank says. Gerard touches Frank's lip with the pad of his thumb. Gerard shakes his head slightly.

"This ain't from falling, baby," He says quietly, "I've been punched in the face enough times to know what this is."

"It's not anything," Frank insists, grabbing Gerard's wrist and moving it away from his chin, and he puts his hood back up and starts messing with the straps on his backpack. He really doesn't like confrontation. 

The sound of the bell pulls them out of the moment, and Frank is grateful.

"This conversation isn't over. I'm bringing you home after school," Gerard says and then turns and walks with Frank out of the bathroom and to the gym so they can hear the "welcome back, we missed you" speech for the forth time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as you probably noticed, I added moikey in the story, and his text symbol is ~ and I added the times that the texts were sent just to make things easier to read. I hope you enjoyed. Also I post earlier on my wattpad, quarantined1andbored
> 
> PLEASE READ!! I will not be adding a trigger warning for abuse in the chapters following unless there is something specific with it. Be expected and aware that every chapter following this one may have mentions of abuse or actually contain it. From here on, please read with caution because it is going to get much darker before any resolution happens. I will add warnings at the beginning of every chapter if there is something more spicy than what is "normal."


	4. Sleepover!

Frank meets Gerard and Mikey at his car at the end of the school day. He unlocks the doors and they all get in. Mikey sits up front with his brother and Frank sits in the back. Frank doesn't question him when he drives past his road. Frank knows that Gerard is taking him to his house. 

Mikey turns on the radio after a few minutes of no one talking. He goes with the oldies station, and "Hotel California" starts playing through the speakers. 

They get to their house before the song even ends.

"Mikey, take these to dad please," Gerard says, handing his brother their personal information forms that need to be updated every year. Mikey takes the papers from him and he goes inside, leaving just Frank and Gerard in the car.

"You wanna stay here or go out?" Gerard asks. 

"Here is fine," Frank says, so they both grab their bags and get out of Gerard's badass car and they head inside. They stop in the kitchen first and Gerard gives Frank a chocolate bar knowing he's probably hungry, and then they go to his bedroom. Gerard's room is messy, but not so bad that there's no space on the floor. It's more like organized clutter, with band posters on the walls and guitars and a keyboard on the floor, along with music sheets. One of the guitars belongs to Frank, but he keeps it here because it's just more convenient. Frank sits on Gerard's bed and starts snacking on the chocolate, while Gerard goes over to his guitar and sits on the ground and starts playing it. He plays "Iris" by the Goo Goo Dolls. He sings it beautifully, and Frank listens to every word of it, and maybe falls in love just a little. 

When Gerard finishes the song, he gets up and sits by Frank, who is still enjoying they chocolate that he gave him. He looks at Frank's swollen lip and then gets up and leaves the room. He's back a minute later with an ice pack. 

"You don't have to do that," Frank says, protesting the help that his best friend is trying to offer. He rolls his eyes and gently presses the ice to his lip.

"Shut up and let me take care of you," Gerard says, holding the ice there until a minute later when Frank lifts his hand up to cover Gerard's and hold the ice there himself. 

"Was it your mom?" Gerard asks. Frank doesn't say anything, but the silence speaks for itself. Gerard knows. "Why?" He asks. Frank sighs.

"Doesn't matter. I deserved it anyway," He says. 

"I didn't ask that, I asked why it happened," Gerard says. Frank shrugs. 

"I don't know. I slept in. She was mad. I told you, Gee, it's my own fault that it even happened. Stop worrying about it, okay? I'm fine," Frank says. Gerard looks at him skeptically, but he doesn't push him any farther. 

"Spend the night? Dads cooking pasta," Gerard suggests, changing the subject to make Frank more comfortable. 

"I don't know if I can. Besides, I don't have a change of clothes. I can't just wear the same thing to school tomorrow," Frank says. Gerard smiles and shakes his head.

"Baby, I'll let you wear my shit. I've got stuff that will fit you," Gerard says, "Ask you asshole mom if you can stay."

"Fine, I'll ask," Frank says, and he picks up his phone and dials his mothers number, silently sending a prayer up that she won't say anything that will let Gerard know about the stuff he has to deal with at home. After a couple rings, his mother answers the call.

"What the hell do you want?" She asks. Frank tries not to wince at her tone. He's got anxiety just thinking she might say one wrong thing and fuck everything up that Frank has tried to hide from his friend. 

"Can I stay with Gerard tonight?" Frank asks her. He can almost picture her in hid mind rolling her eyes at him. 

"I don't care," She says, and she hangs up before he can say anything else. Frank looks to Gerard and shrugs.

"You wanna share the bed or do you want the couch?" Gerard asks. 

"We're basically adults. I think we can share," Frank says sarcastically. Gerard laughs.

"Hey, I know, I just want you to be comfortable," He replies. Frank rolls his eyes and smiles at him. He then gets up and goes over to his guitar and motions for Gerard to join him, and they start to play music until dinner, and then after dinner, they go back to Gerard's bedroom. It's late, so they start to get ready for bed. After changing into a pair of Gerard's basketball shorts and a t-shirt, frank lays down on the left side of the bed. 

Gerard stays up later to continue writing music, and Frank ends up falling asleep listening to Gerard sing the words to "love of my life" by Queen. 

Frank doesn't know what time Gerard decided to join him in sleep, but he remembers waking up for a second to the feeling of his best friends lips lightly touching his temple, and he remembers hearing the words "It's gonna be okay" whispered in his ear. After that, he drifted off, and in the morning, he's going to wonder if that sweet moment really happened, or if it was just a dream he wishes could turn into reality.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this chapter sucks. It's short, and I was distracted while writing it. Everything was fine until youtube decided to have the 98.7fm acoustic thing with mcr start playing. The sound of the whole set is intoxicating. I very highly recommend listening to it if you have not already. My personal favorite that they performed during that set was Helena. Please, for the love of Geesus, listen to it. Watching it is cool too because you can laugh about how everyone got a chair but Mikey. 
> 
> Well, that all. I'm tired. Thanks for reading.


	5. Unlock the Door

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi don't read this if talk of suicide makes you feel things please and thanks.

School has been back a few weeks, and it's almost time for Homecoming. Frank hasn't been allowed to see Gerard since he stayed over at his house because while he wasn't home, his mother had realized the messes she makes won't clean themselves, and she needs someone to pick up her shit for her, even though she's more than capable. 

Frank has been noticing his best friend has been acting weird ever since the last time they hung out. Nothing really happened that night, but the morning, well, Frank woke up to Gerard's alarm, but that wasn't the odd thing, it was that Gerard unconsciously curled himself around Frank in his sleep. They didn't talk about it, but Gerard sure was flustered when he had realized what he had done, thinking that Frank thought he was disgusted. Gerard tried to play it off as his sleeping mind likes to hug pillow, and he probably thought he was a pillow. It wasn't brought up again, and they just left it at that, pretending things were normal. Which they are. For reasons.

Gerard has been begging Frank to go to the homecoming game and the dance that is on the following night, and Frank hasn't been able to give him a straight up answer. Frank told him he will know the week before, but really, it all depends on how his moms mood is the night of it. Frank does want to go, and he's really hoping his mom will let him, but he's worried she won't because she hasn't let him hang out with him in almost a month.

Right now, he's sitting at the kitchen table doing his homework, waiting for his mom to come home from the store so he can put the stuff away because lord knows she'll try and force her uber to help her. He is about to start his chemistry homework when he sees his phone light up. It's a call from Mikey. Frank is confused with seeing the call, because Mikey never calls him, he only texts him, and that's only when Gerard needs something, or he's asking something regarding the band. Frank answers the call anyway.

"Hello?" Frank says. Mikey sounds like he's panicking on the other line.

"Something's wrong with Gerard. He locked himself in the bathroom and he's not letting me in and the last thing he said to me was to not call the cops," Mikey's rushed voice says. 

"What's wrong with him?" Frank asks, his heart starting to race.

"I don't know. He was acting weird ever since we got in the car to go home earlier. He kept saying something about this guy named Bert and he was saying your name, too. I don't know, Frank, I'm really worried he's going to hurt himself again," Mikey says, referring to the times years ago when Gerard was in middle school feeling alone even though he had a boyfriend who promised that he loved him.

"Okay, I'm gonna come over. I'll be there in maybe fifteen minutes. Tell him to unlock the door for me, but don't go in, let him know you're not going to go in. Is your dad home?" Frank asks.

"He's not. He won't be for a while," Mikey replies.

"Alright. I'm gonna be there soon. If anything bad happens, don't call me, call an ambulance, you hear me?" Frank asks.

"I do. Please hurry," Mikey says.

"I will. Bye," Frank says, hanging up the phone. He glances at the clock that he put above the kitchen sink. His mother doesn't know what it means to him to have it there, but what would she know? A clock above it for her is not the same for him. He wanted something with purpose above it, and instead of writing something or hanging a picture, he hung up something worthless to him. Time is just a pointless curse, and what better thing to point out a curse than a fucking clock?

His mom isn't supposed to get home for another half an hour, she told him she will be home at eight thirty. He walks over to the junk drawer and pulls out a pad of stationary and a pen, and he scribbles on a note to her.

_I had to leave. I'll be back soon._

_-Frank_

He then goes to his bedroom and stuff a shirt and pants and socks into his backpack and throws it over his shoulders, and then he goes into the garage to get his bike, and he hops on and begins pedaling to Gerard's house. Frank isn't intending on returning home tonight, and even though he knows how much shit he's going to get into with his mom, ultimately, his friend is more important than avoiding any punches his mom wants to throw at him. 

He takes less than ten minutes to arrive at his house, and he doesn't even have to bother with knocking on the door, as Mikey is already waiting for him. He lets him in.

"Any updates?" Frank asks as Mikey follows Frank down the hallway to Gerard's room to set down his bag. 

"No. I can still hear him in there crying, though," Mikey says. Frank puts his bag down, and he walks out of his bedroom, and Frank follows Mikey upstairs to the bathroom Mikey usually uses.

"I don't know if he unlocked the door," Mikey tells him when they're in front of it. Frank nods, and watches Mikey knock on the door.

"Gerard? Frank's here. He wants to talk to you. I'll be downstairs if you need me," His brother says to him. He's met with silence, but it doesn't surprise him. Mikey walks past Frank then, leaving the two boys upstairs. 

"Gerard, I'm here. I'm gonna come in, okay?" He doesn't reply, so Frank tries the door handle, and it turns, showing that he did unlock the door for him. Slowly, he opens it, and he walks in. Gerard is sitting on the ground in basketball shorts without a shirt on. His hands are balled into fists, and his legs are curled to his chest, and he's hiding his face in his knees. Frank walks all the way in and he closes the door behind him, and he sits down on the floor around two feet away from Gerard. He looks at the stuff around Gerard. There's a few empty beer cans on the floor, and there's a half empty pack of cigarettes lying next to them too. There's one more thing on the ground, and that's what concerns Frank the most. He looks at Gerard, crying into his knees, trying to figure out where he's hiding the missing piece of the pencil sharpener that's on the floor.

He doesn't reach out and hold his friend, he just sits in silence next to him, waiting for Gerard to come to him. He searches the bathroom with his eyes, still trying to find what Gerard has hidden. He looks at him again, unable to find it, until after a few seconds, he lowers one of his fists and Frank hears the tiny piece of metal fall on the floor. He doesn't reach over and take it until Gerard wraps his arm back around his legs, and when he takes it, he puts it in the wastebasket beside the sink.

It feels like hours until Gerard is no longer a mess of sweat and tears, and he's sitting back against the wall and staring at the wall opposite to him with red rimming his eyes. Frank is parallel to him, staring at the wall in front of them, waiting for Gerard to do something, or nothing at all. 

"I ran into him yesterday. Called me a stupid bitch that can't do shit right and an attention seeker. I couldn't stop thinking about it. It was after lunch when we don't have any classes together. It made me remember what he did right before I tried to off myself in eighth grade," Gerard says quietly. When Frank is sure that Gerard isn't going to continue, he responds.

"What led you here?" Frank asks.

"What kinda question is that?" Gerard asks, obviously offended.

"I mean what led you here? Was it what Bert said, or was it you feeling like that memory was happening again and it was all new and you didn't know how to deal with it?" Frank asks. Gerard sighs.

"Don't pull your therapist shit on me or I'll beat your ass. The second one," Gerard says. He looks over at Frank. "I'm sorry Mikey made you come over." 

"Mikey didn't make me do shit. I decided to come here," Frank tells him. 

"What about your mom?" He asks. Frank shrugs.

"I don't know what she's gonna do. I don't care if she gets upset at me. You're more important to me than trying to please some lady that I don't give a shit about," Frank says. He takes his phone out and checks the time. It's close to midnight, and there's something evil that's lurking in his friends mind, but Gerard doesn't seem in the mood to talk about it.

"Why don't we just go to sleep and talk about it tomorrow? It's Friday, we don't gotta worry about school. Just rest and talk in the morning. Do you wanna do that?" Frank asks. Gerard takes a moment before nodding.

"Alright. Come here," Frank says, holding his arms out to Gerard, and he sinks into his embrace, breathing in and out in the safety of his friends grasp, knowing that there is nothing right now that is going to hurt him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi. This is dark. I wasn't intending it to be, but I mean, it happened. We have an inside look into Gerard's past, but I'm an asshole and I'm not even close to making their lives the most difficult things ever. Things are going to get worse (I promise). Eventually, I might decide to be nice, but we are still early in the story and I feel like making you wait. I made this chapter longer, too, because the last one was too short for me to actually like it. If you have any theories or feedback, feel free to leave a comment. I really appreciate reading all the ones you guys have been leaving me.
> 
> Another note: so I just realized this story would have taken place in the 90s and that touchscreen phones weren't really a big thing back then, and uber didn't even exist. But, for my sake, I'm not going to change the plot to make it on an accurate timeline. We are going to pretend the boys are vibing in 2010 with their iPhone 4's and their sillybands.


	6. Afraid

"Answer your fucking phone," Gerard groans, lightly kicking Frank in the face to wake him up. Frank opens his eyes slowly, and it's bright outside. His phone is ringing, and he sees Gerard throw a pillow over his face.

"Turn the fucking thing off if you're not gonna answer it, asshole," Gerard mumbles. The caller ID shows that it's his mom calling. He's instantly filled with panic, and he practically jumps out of bed when he realizes it's her. He answers it, even though he really doesn't want to.

"Hello?" He says, bracing himself for what she's about to throw at him. 

"Frank, where the hell are you?!" His mother shouts. Frank flinches at her tone.

"At a friends place. They needed me," Frank answers.

"You didn't fucking ask. Get your ass home right now, and you better tell your friend you love her because you're not going to be seeing her in a long time," His mom says to him. She sounds beyond pissed. Frank looks at Gerard, who is now awake and staring at him.

"I'll be there soon," Frank says quietly, and he hangs up. He drops his phone down on the bed in front of him.

"You're leaving," Gerard says. It's not a question. Even though he didn't hear the conversation, he can tell Frank has to leave.

"I have to," Frank replies, starting to stand up and pick his things up and put them into his bag.

"Are you okay?" Gerard asks when he zips up his backpack. Frank shrugs.

"Come here," Gerard says, lifting the blanket up next to him. Frank goes to sit by him, and Gerard wraps the blanket around Frank and hugs him. Frank finds himself leaning into his touch, and it makes him not want to leave even more. He swears sometimes that he's the only one who really cares about him. Frank turns his head and presses his cheek against Gerard's bare shoulder, and he feels Gerard's hand come up and rub the back of his neck. Frank wraps his arms around Gerard's torso.

"I don't want to go," Frank whispers, fearing what his mom is going to do to him when he gets home, and he wishes so bad to just be able to tell Gerard what goes on at his house so that just maybe, Gerard could stop him from going home.

"I know, baby," Gerard whispers back, holding him tighter. Frank holds on a few seconds longer and then he lets go. He stands up and starts walking out of Gerard's bedroom, and Gerard follows closely behind. They get to the front door, and Frank turns around, looking at Gerard one last time before going outside and back home. Just as Frank is about to turn to open the door, Gerard steps closer to him and cups his face in the palms of his hands. He leans down and presses a kiss onto Frank's forehead, and then messes up Frank's hair.

"Stay safe," Gerard whispers. Frank nods, and then he heads out the door and mounts his bike without another word.

On the way home, Frank tries not to think about his mother. Instead, he thinks about his best friend, and he thinks of how kind he is to him. Even though Frank is upset that he couldn't stay longer to talk with Gerard about the previous night, he's thankful Gerard is so understanding, even though he hasn't told him a thing about what his mother does. 

As Frank gets closer and closer to home, his heart starts picking up it's pace, and he's starting to think he's going to have a panic attack before he even gets home. He tells himself he's just overreacting, that everything is going to be okay, and that he has anxiety, and this is just part of it, and he really has nothing to worry about.

He stops about a block away from his house and checks his phone. One message from Gerard.

_-hey bb. u left ur fone charger here. im gonna bring it 2 u on monday ok? see u soon. dont watch 2 much porn n kill ur battery XD_

Frank rolls his eyes at his best friends message. He feels lost. He doesn't want his phone to die, because when it does, he's going to be completely isolated from everyone. Even if it's only for a few days, he can't stand being alone for so long. He hates it, and with a sigh, he turns off his phone and puts it back in his pocket, and starts to finish the bike ride home, not nearly ready to be lonely for a day or two.

He's as quiet as he can be when he enters the house. He doesn't want to let his mom know he's back home. Everything is going well, until he enters his bedroom. That's when he sees her sitting on his bed, glaring at him. Frank tries to ignore her and just put his stuff away, but when she stands up behind him when he's in front of his closet, it's too hard to continue trying to ignore her presence.

"Please leave me alone," Frank says quietly, trying his best not to trigger her and piss her off enough to start hitting him. 

"Why'd you sneak out to go fuck some girl? You should have asked to leave. Sneaking out is bad, Frank," His mom says to him. She's so close, he can feel her hot breath on his neck. 

"I'm sorry. Please forgive me," Frank says, trying to calm her down. 

"No," She says sharply, and then quickly shoving him into the wall. He hits his head on the door of his closet, and it causes him to stumble and fall to the floor. He looks up at his mother dazed.

"Please go," Frank whispers with tears in his eyes. He watches his mother swing her leg back, and the toe of her boot makes contact with his side, and Frank looses his breath. She kicks him again in the same spot, and the grabs the collar of his shirt.

"You should know better than to go running off without telling me first! Do you not understand how worried I've been?!" His mother shouts. She swings her hand back and punches him in the nose, and almost immediately following the blow, blood starts trickling its way down Franks face and over his chin, until finally beginning to drop on the floor. 

Frank doesn't even try to shield his face from the following punches. His mom still holds the collar of his shirt, and she pulls him up and shoves him back against the wall. Frank doesn't fight back. He would never, ever, hit a woman, no matter how much he hates her or how much he wants to, because it's just wrong to him. 

"You are not my son! I didn't raise you to treat me like shit!" She yells at him, pushing him against the wall again, and again, he hits his head. She then drops him to the ground, and when he curls up into a ball, she kicks him in the back, and Frank groans, and soon enough, the groan turns into tears, and he's crying on the floor, silently begging some deity to make his mom go away and stop watching him.

"Frank, baby, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you, I just get so upset with you sometimes," His mother says softly, changing her voice and acting as if she hadn't beaten this shit out of him just moments ago. Frank flinches when she lays a hand on his arm, and he jerks away when she tries to clean up the blood on his skin.

"Go away," Frank cries. He hears his mother sigh, but thankfully, she stands up and leaves, and Frank is now alone in his room, sobbing into the carpet.

He tries to think of Gerard, maybe doing that will take the pain away, but it's useless, and thinking of him just makes everything worse because all he has with Gerard are good memories, and sometimes the good makes it so much more painful, and the longing to just _be with him_ is unbearable right now.

So, instead of trying to clean up himself and wash the blood off the carpet, Frank continues to just lie there, wishing for sleep to take him away from this hell called "home."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading. Sorry for having another sad chapter, but I can't find it in me to write anything happy today. Today has just been awful since I woke up. My dad called me a few minutes after I was awake to tell me a loved one is in the hospital. I'm not allowed to go visit them because of this fucking virus. I'm really worried about them, but there's nothing I can do, and writing usually takes my mind off things. I hope everyone else has had a good day though. ♥ Please be safe, and talk to those you love. That's all. Until next time.


	7. Recover

The majority of Frank's Sunday is spend lying in bed because he was in too much pain to get up. He did get up once to use the bathroom and refill his water bottle, but other than that, he hasn't gotten up. He played games on his phone until it died, and after that he took a nap. When it got later in the day, Frank spent the little amount of daylight left reading his comics, and after it got dark outside, he set his book down and closed his eyes to fall into a dreamless sleep.

Monday was pretty much the same routine, minus the phone. His mother left early in the morning and hasn't been back since, and only God knows where the hell she went. As it's getting later in the day, Frank realizes that homecoming is on Friday, which happens to be October thirty-first, which also happens to be his birthday. 

He looks up at his ceiling and rolls his eyes, thinking now he's not only going to miss homecoming, he's also going to miss his eighteenth birthday, unless by some miracle, his body decides to heal itself enough to be able to go to school in just a few days. He doesn't want to miss his birthday, because he was going to try and convince his mom to let him stay with Gerard on that day. He knows that when hes eighteen, he is free from his mom, but out of respect, he's not going to leave her just yet because she can hardly even take care of herself, and if it weren't for Frank needing to have actual food, she probably would have drank herself to the grave by now, because alcohol is her favorite meal. As harsh as she is to him, Frank doesn't have it in him to abandon her, because the only thing that will end up doing is killing her.

Frank has never really missed school, but more so the outlet he had there, and right now, he's missing that a lot. He had his music teacher, Mr. Bulsara, his best friend, Gerard, and a couple other people he didn't mind talking to, like Mikey, Vic, Kellin, or Andy. They're all good people, but honestly, Frank wouldn't care if the only person he was able to talk to ever again was Gerard. 

Speaking of Gerard, he hasn't talked to him since he left his house, because like the not smart person he can be sometimes, he wasted his phone battery playing games instead of talking to the one person he trusts the most. 

Glancing out his window, Frank notices it's getting late. His mother still isn't home, but he doesn't really care. Feeling exhausted, Frank reaches for his blanket and pulls it up over his bruised body, and he snuggles up against his pillow, hoping that he'll feel better tomorrow. He closes his eyes, and soon after, he falls asleep.

***

Wednesday passes, and not much happens except for his mom finally is back home and she's got plenty of alcohol to last her a few weeks. His body still aches, but Frank can finally stand up and not feel like he's going to double over when he starts to walk around. 

He and his mother haven't talked since she went ape-shit crazy on him, and he's beyond thankful for that. 

Now it's Thursday night, and Frank is really wanting to go to school tomorrow. The bruises on his face have healed enough for them to only be noticeable if someone was to look real closely, but other than that, they're getting difficult to see. After standing up and walking around his room, Frank decides he really misses Gerard and he's going to go to school tomorrow, and he will go to the football game with him. It's not the best way to spend a birthday, but it's something, and the last thing he want's to do is spend it alone. 

***

His alarm clock wakes him up at six thirty in the morning, and Frank starts to get ready. He goes to the bathroom to brush his teeth and fix his unruly hair, and then back to his bedroom to get dressed. He settles on his Iron Maiden hoodie, and some black pants along with his favorite pair of shoes, his black converse. He decides he's going to walk to school today, because he figures he might as well get used to walking.

He throws on a beanie and gets his backpack on, and goes to the kitchen for a snack, but he's not surprised to be met with an empty fridge. He sighs, knowing he's going to have to waste his money on school food today. 

On his way to the front door, Frank sees his mom, and he notices she's passed out on the couch. He doesn't care though, and he starts walking outside and to his school.

He ends up getting there around an hour early, and he goes to sit under a tree outside the front of the school, because the doors aren't open yet. He decides to pull his pack of cigarettes out of his pocket, and he lights it. He's only alone for a few minutes though, before Mr. Bulsara shows up at the school, and Frank sees he's walking over to him. He contemplates putting out his cigarette for a moment, but he decides against it because his teacher already saw him, and putting it out will just be a waste of money. 

"Hey, Iero. Long time, no see. Where have you been?" His teacher asks when he's close to him. Frank looks up at him from where he's sitting.

"Home," Frank replies, blowing out smoke and then taking another drag. Mr. Bulsara sits down next to him, despite the fact that the morning dew is going to get his pants wet.

"Those things will ruin your lungs," His teacher says. Frank rolls his eyes.

"Not like you don't do it," Frank replies. He sees Mr. Bulsara nod.

"You're right, I do, but you're young. There's still a chance for you to quit," He says. Frank shakes his head.

"You're not that old. You could, too," Frank says, taking another drag. They're silent for a moment, until his teacher speaks again.

"I've missed you in class. You're very good with the guitar. The other guys kind of suck, but don't tell them I said that," He says. Frank chuckles.

"Your secret's safe with me," Frank replies just to humor him. Suddenly, Frank hears a phone ring, and he looks over to see his teacher looking at his phone.

"My husband's calling. I'll see you in third block?" He asks. Frank nods.

"See you then, Iero," He says, and then gets up and starts walking away, and Frank can hear Mr. Bulsara talking on the phone for just a few seconds before he's too far away to hear anything.

Frank starts picking at the grass and watching his classmates slowly start showing up. His body perks up when he notices Mikey walking on the sidewalk. Mikey hasn't seen him, but that doesn't matter, because that isn't who Frank was wanting to see. Frank stands up and starts walking towards the sidewalk, when suddenly, Gerard comes into view. He spots Frank after a moment, and smiles, and starts walking to him with open arms. 

They meet in the center of the walkway, and they hug for a moment before pulling apart and walking side by side. 

"Hey, are you doing okay?" Gerard asks after walking for a moment. Frank turns to look at him.

"I am now," He replies, and Gerard smiles at him, and they continue walking. There's still a lot of time before school starts, and they walk to the cafeteria. 

"Happy birthday, Frankie," Gerard whispers to Frank when they enter an empty hallway. Frank blushes at his words, and lightly nudges Gerard's shoulder.

"Thank you," He replies, and finally, they reach the cafeteria doors. Gerard opens it and lets Frank walk through, and he walks with him in the lunch line. Nearing the end where the lunch ladies take their money, Gerard takes out his wallet and hands a few bills to Frank.

"I have my own money," He says, trying to protest, but Gerard won't take it back.

"I know, but it's your birthday," Gerard says. Frank smiles with the corners of his mouth, and mumbles a thank you, and he hands the money to the nice lunch lady, and then they go to sit down at an empty table by the back.

Frank only gets a few bites into his sandwich before Gerard starts asking questions about why he's been absent for the last four days.

"Why were you gone?" He asks. Frank finishes chewing before he answers.

"I didn't feel good," He replies.

"Why? Did you catch the flu or something? Mikey felt a little sick a few days ago, it might be that," Gerard says, but Frank shakes his head. 

"What was it then?" Gerard asks. Frank shakes his head again.

"What the hell happened then? It's been a long time since I've seen you last," Gerard says, growing frustrated that his friend wont give him a straight up answer.

"Do you have my phone charger?" Frank asks. Gerard doesn't answer him, but he pulls out his charger and hands it to Frank, and Frank puts it into his backpack. 

"Why can't you just tell me what happened? I'm here for you, Frank," Gerard says.

"I told you. I wasn't feeling good," Frank says, getting annoyed at Gerard's questioning. He didn't lie to him, he really wasn't feeling well. Gerard looks at him like he doesn't believe a word coming out of his mouth. 

"Talk to me about it later, then. Ray invited us all to his place after the game tonight. He wanted me to ask you to come over. I'll drive you there, and then back home in the morning," Gerard says. Frank thinks about asking his mom for a moment, but today, he is eighteen, so he figures he can.

"Yeah, I'll come," Frank says. He watches Gerard pull out his phone and texts who he assumes is Ray.

"I just told Ray. I packed extra clothes in my car for you just in case," Gerard says. Frank is about to speak again, but he's interrupted by the bell.

"We'll talk later. See you at lunch, okay?" Gerard says. Frank nods, and he watches his best friend walk away. Frank quickly finishes off what he was eating, and then he walks to class, barely making it there before the tardy bell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, I absolutely hate this chapter. It took me three hours to write because I just wasn't getting any inspiration on it. Sorry for making this one boring, I promise the next one will be much more interesting. If anyone cares to know, I have an update on the person I mentioned in the notes of my last chapter. The person is alive, and they're doing alright. We've got hopes for them to come home soon, and everyone is beyond grateful. Thank you all for reading, and sticking around when I write boring ass chapters like this one. I appreciate it. -Em


	8. Homecoming

The sky is a pinkish purple color, and it looks really beautiful over the football field. Frank and Gerard are hanging out on the grass instead of the bleachers because they're overcrowded with a bunch of locals acting like this is how they normally spend their Friday nights. The cheerleaders are warming up, and the band is playing, and there's a bunch of freshmen acting like idiots on the hill to the right of the field. Mikey is among those freshmen, and no one can really blame them for being over there and having fun, because all of the outcasts have done that in their previous years of attending this shit-hole high school. 

The concession stands haven't opened yet, and the opposing football team has yet to arrive. The other team isn't really a rival to their school, but they're probably going to beat them, because the team here just really sucks.

Frank left his phone in Gerard's car to charge. Gerard has his own phone with him, but he isn't on it. They both sit on one of the two blankets Gerard brought, and they're pretty close because the blanket they sit on is small. It hasn't gotten cold enough for them to need the second blanket to wrap around themselves yet. Gerard looks at Frank, who's staring over to where the Freshman are, thinking about how fun it was fucking around over there a few years back.

"You wanna go over there?" Gerard asks. Frank turns his head and looks at his friend.

"What?" Frank asks, in a daze from daydreaming and staring off at the hill.

"The freshmen. You wanna go hang with them?" Gerard asks again. Frank looks at him confused, and Gerard shrugs.

"You looked like you wanted to go over there," Gerard says, "I'm offering to go with you." Frank shakes his head and smiles.

"Nah, I don't want to. I was just thinking about the fun we used to have over there. Now we're seniors, and this is the last homecoming we will ever go to. I'm feeling nostalgic," Frank says. Gerard chuckles, and leans over and nudges him. 

"Miss those days," Gerard says, then he turns and looks at Frank, "I miss you, too. I hate not hearing from you, you know? You get me really worried sometimes when I don't hear from you for days. I was gonna go over to your place today and check on you if you hadn't have come to school," Gerard says. 

"I wasn't lying to you, Gee. I really wasn't feeling well," Frank whispers softly. Gerard bites the inside of his cheek, looking like he's thinking.

"Are you still not feeling good?" Gerard asks. Frank shrugs.

"Yeah," Frank says. It takes a lot for him to be this honest with Gerard, but he's really trying here, because he wants to be the person Gerard sees in him. Hell, the only reason he still tries with Gerard is because he's been crushing on him for the longest time, and he really doesn't want to lose him. He's one of the only constants in his life, and that means a lot to him. 

"Do you wanna talk about anything?" Gerard cautiously asks, not wanting to upset Frank again after upsetting him on the only abandoned highway. He watches Frank shake his head.

"No. The concession stand is open now, though. I can go get some snacks if you want," Frank says.

"Stay here and watch our stuff. I'll go get snacks. Anything you want?" Gerard asks.

"Can you get me a pretzel?" Frank asks.

"Yeah," Gerard says, and he turns around to start heading to the stands.

"Gee?" Frank calls out. Gerard turns back around.

"Can you get extra cheese?" Gerard smiles.

"Of course, baby," He says with a wink, and Frank's face turns red as Gerard turns around and continues walking. He swears the entire population at the field heard what Gerard called him and is now watching him with laser eyes.

While Gerard is gone, Frank entertains himself by staring at the sky until the game starts. The other team is in purple jerseys, and their mascot is a tiger. From the looks of it, though, the opposing team looks just as bad--if not worse--than their own team. 

Frank sees Gerard coming back up the hill with a bunch of snacks in his arms a few minutes later. It doesn't take him long to get seated back down next to Frank.

"Happy birthday," Gerard says, handing Frank an extra cheesy pretzel. Frank gratefully accepts it.

"Thank you," He says, and he starts munching on it as Gerard starts opening his first of five hundred Twinkies he just bought. 

"Why'd you get so damn much?" Frank asks with a scowl. Gerard sends a playful glare towards Frank.

"Me getting a lot of Twinkies does not concern you, Frankie," Gerard says, and Frank can't help from busting out laughing, but he regrets it after a moment when he feels a sharp pain in his side from moving too much. He tries to cover it up as laughing so hard that it hurts, but it's hard to miss the worried gaze that Gerard has on his face upon seeing Frank clutch at his side. He can tell Gerard is about to say something, but he shuts him down before he can even open his mouth.

"I'm okay. Just feeling a little sick still," Frank says. By the look on his friends face, he can tell that Gerard doesn't believe a word he just said, but he doesn't call him out on it.

"It's getting cold. I'm gonna get the blanket out," Gerard says, rummaging through his bag for the fluffy blanket he packed this morning. He pulls it out and wraps it around Frank's shoulders, before settling in next to him and wrapping the blanket around himself, too. Frank feels Gerard leaning against him, and after a moment, he feels Gerard's head resting on his shoulder, and he feels an arm wrap around his back. They're quiet for a little bit and they watch the game. Their school is losing by a lot, but the kids in the bleachers seem unfazed. They probably don't even realize they're losing, they're just smiling and laughing for the fun of it. The senior section goes wild whenever someone on their team gets the ball, and they all sound let down when someone drops it or when the other team scores.

Around halftime, Frank notices Mikey and his friends, Tyler and Josh, coming up the hill towards them. When Mikey gets close to them he starts talking. 

"Gerard, you're fucking gay. Can we have twenty dollars?" He asks. Gerard glares at him, and moves his arm back from around Franks waist and he grabs his wallet.

"You're an asshole. You better get your friends some shit. And get a fucking job," Gerard says.

"Thanks, Gerard!" Tyler says, and he does a dumb twirl with his wrist, and Josh watches him like he's an idiot, because, well, he is one sometimes. Tyler is just a rat, and no one knows why anyone likes Tyler. Gerard has to give it to him though, he is a really good singer.

"Yeah, no problem," Gerard says, all weirded out. Frank giggles as they all turn to leave.

"Stupid freshmen," Gerard grumbles, leaning back against Frank and wrapping his arms around him. Frank rests his head on top of Gerard's. 

"Let them have fun," Frank says.

"I am letting them. I just gave my ungrateful little shithead brother and his nerdy friends twenty bucks. I don't care what they do with it," Gerard says, defending himself.

Frank laughs, and after that, they're quiet again, and they watch the game. They're still losing by a lot, but they enjoy the night anyway because they're both exactly where they want to be, and Frank knows that today has been a good day. This may not be his best birthday ever, but he's in the arms of his best friend, and lately, he hasn't felt anything better than this, so he takes what he can get, and he absolutely loves it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Feedback is appreciated :3


	9. Untold Truths

Ray Toro lives in a big ass house. Like seriously, his house is huge, and that is one of the reasons his house is the designated hang out spot, even though he lives an hour away from everyone else. His parents are both gone for the weekend on some lame business trip, and they told Ray he can have a party if he wants, and just not to make too much of a mess for their maid to clean up. Frank has known Ray for a long time, but honestly, his favorite thing about Ray is his hair. It's just so curly and long, and sometimes, he just wants to touch it.

Ray is at the door to let everyone inside when they all arrive and walk out of Gerard's badass Trans Am. It's late because of the long drive, but none of them are tired. 

"Hey guys," Ray says, opening the door and letting them inside. 

"Hey," They all reply back, hanging up their coats and following him into his big bedroom. His bedroom is one of the biggest rooms in the house. It has a loft to a second floor that's accessible by a built in ladder. On the loft, there's two beds, one of them is the one Ray uses, and the other is a guest bed, because there's just that much room in there. There's also this funky arcade game up there that none of them know how to play because everything is written in Korean, but it's still fun to try and figure out what it does.

Below the loft, there's a whole bookshelf filled with comics and books that Ray has probably never even read. Ray also has his own bathroom, and it has a large tub with jets, and the shower in there has a waterfall. He's got this one wall that's just glass, and looking outside is really beautiful in the daytime. It's hard to see right now because it's dark out. There is a hot tub and a pool outside, too, but Frank's favorite part of Ray's bedroom is the instruments he's got for when his friends come over. Gerard's favorite part is also the music stuff, and Mikey, well, he likes the funky arcade game in the loft and the pool.

"Well, boys, welcome to the cave," Ray says when they enter his bedroom. 

Gerard goes up to the loft to go throw his and Frank's stuff on the guest bed, and Mikey sets his things down on a bean bag chair in the corner of the room that's the size of a bed. It's really comfortable, too.

"How have you been?" Ray asks Frank while everyone is putting their stuff away, "Haven't heard from you in a while."

"I'm doing alright. What about you? Enjoying your private school?" Frank asks. Ray rolls his eyes.

"I like it, but I don't think there's any chance that I'm going to get a girlfriend before college. I should have thought about transferring to your school," Ray says. Frank looks at him with a "you-should-not-have-just-said-that-my-school-is-actually-disgusting" look on his face, and Ray can't help but laugh.

"Seriously though, I'm not going to find anyone. The majority of the boys there are closeted gay kids with very strict christian parents. One of my buddies told me his dad made him go here with some hopes this place would be like a conversion camp, but it's all boys. I don't know what his dad was thinking sending him here, but whatever he was aiming for, it didn't work," Ray says. 

"I'm glad my moms poor. I would never fit in with you guys," Frank says. He turns his head and then sees Gerard coming back down the ladder. 

"Dude, do we got plans for tonight, or are we just gonna chill?" Gerard asks Ray. He shrugs his shoulders.

"The pool isn't closed yet if you guys want to go swimming. My dad just installed a new water heater a few weeks ago," Ray says. 

Anxiety hits Frank like a bullet. He's still got massive bruises covering his body, and when they've gone swimming in the past, he's never worn a shirt in the water. Frank is about to decline the offer, but Gerard yells over to Mikey, cutting him off before he even tries to speak up on his feelings about it.

"Mikey, you wanna go swimming?" Gerard yells. Mikey looks up at him from where he's sitting on the bean bag and doing something on his phone.

"No, Kristin wants to call me. Maybe later," Mikey says. Gerard snickers.

"Okay, have fun with your girlfriend," Gerard says, and Mikey glares at him, but he keeps his mouth shut. Gerard turns to Frank.

"You gonna come with or are you gonna dip with Mikey?" Gerard asks. As nervous as he his, Frank accepts the invitation to go swimming, even though he knows there's probably going to be questions asked when he walks outside while still wearing a shirt. 

Gerard goes to the bathroom to change first, and then Ray does, and they've both gone out to the pool while Frank is now hiding in the bathroom, afraid to come out. He doesn't want to hide in the bathroom too long because he doesn't want to worry his friends, but he's also having an internal battle with himself on whether or not he's even going to go outside now.

Eventually, he gives up and decides to just go outside with a shirt still on, and he prepares himself for questions when he gets outside, but strangely enough, none are asked, and Frank is able to enjoy himself in the pool, and hanging out in the deep end, because that's the best spot.

Ray, Frank, and Gerard all hang out in the pool and talk for a little bit. Frank mostly keeps to himself though, just chilling in the corner of the pool and treading water to keep himself afloat.

After a while of swimming outside, Gerard notices the light inside turns off, and he tells Frank and Ray that he thinks Mikey went to bed, and then he goes on to make fun of him for going to bed before midnight, but he's just joking, because on most nights when Gerard isn't hanging out with his friends, he's usually out before ten.

"Guys, I think I'm going to head inside and get ready for bed. The hot tub's open if you guys want to get in it," Ray says after none of them have talked for a little bit.

"Alright. See ya," Gerard says. He swims over to where Frank is chilling in the deep end, and he gently splashes water at him. Frank rolls his eyes, but he splashes Gerard back. Gerard then grabs onto the side of the pool so he doesn't have to keep kicking the water to stay up.

"You doing alright?" He asks Frank. Frank nods.

"Yeah. Why?" He asks.

"You've just been quiet. I'm just checking on you," Gerard says.

"I'm alright," Frank tells him. 

After that, they're both quiet for a little bit, and when Frank looks over to Gerard, he's staring at the water, looking lost in thought. Gerard doesn't even notice Frank staring at him for a little bit, until he does. He smiles at him.

"Wanna go in the hot tub?" He asks after making contact with Frank's beautiful eyes. 

"Sure," Frank says, and he starts swimming with Gerard to the shallow end to get out of the pool so they can get out of it and then go to the hot tub. Gerard goes in it first, and he holds his hand out to Frank, which he takes, and he lets go of it when they're both seated in the tub. Frank doesn't stay in his spot for long though, because the jets are starting to hurt his back. After a few minutes, he doesn't want to deal with it, so Frank ends up sitting on the edge of it with just his feet dangling in and gently kicking the water, not hard enough to cause a splash.

Frank continues to kick the water slowly, and he enjoys the cool breeze surrounding him. He looks over to Gerard, who was seated across from him, is now getting up and sitting next to him on the edge of the hot tub.

"Frankie?" He asks. He turns his head and looks at him.

"What?" Frank asks, feeling nervous, because the tone of his voice sounds like they're about to have a serious conversation, and he's been trying to avoid it for as long as possible, not wanting to have a talk on his birthday.

"How long has it been going on?" Gerard asks. Frank looks at his friend confused. That wasn't what he was expecting to hear from him, he was just expecting him to ask why he's been gone for almost a week. It's almost like... he knows something.

"What?" Frank asks. Gerard sighs and looks at his friend with sad eyes.

"I'm trying to make this easy for you. You know what I'm talking about," Gerard says. Frank feels the overwhelming need to defend himself, even though he knows exactly what Gerard is talking about now. 

"I don't know what you mean," Frank says, losing confidence in his words, looking away from Gerard, trying to hide his shame that he wishes wasn't even visible at this moment. He feels Gerard lay his hand over his, and he starts to feel tears prickle at his eyes, and he's angry at them for thinking that they have the right to show up at times like this, when he's trying to be strong and prove to Gerard that he's okay. He blinks back his tears, and for now, they seem to be on his side, and they don't spill over his eyelids.

"You're safe here. It's okay, Frank. I know," Gerard whispers, lacing their fingers together and holding his hand tighter. Frank still refuses to look at him, feeling like the second he does, he's going to have a breakdown, and that'll be it, and he won't ever be able to go back to how things were.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Gerard, and you're really starting to worry me," Frank says to him, making another weak attempt to somehow prove to Gerard that he is, in fact, fine. Right now though, he's far from fine, and he's afraid that Gerard can tell that by the way his voice breaks.

"You do know. How long?" Gerard asks softly, and Frank squeezes his hand and tries hard not to turn his head to the sky to try to keep his tears from falling, but it doesn't work very well, and he sucks in a shaky breath, and angrily wipes at his eyes, furious at his tears for betraying him like that when he was working hard to keep them in.

"There's nothing wrong with me," Frank says through gritted teeth, and he's trying really hard to just hold it all in. He takes in a shaky breath and tries to calm himself.

"I never said there was. There isn't anything wrong with you, Frankie, you're perfect the way you are, but there's something wrong at home, I know there is. Please tell me how long it's been going on. The only thing I want to do is help you and make sure you're safe, and you're not alone, no matter what. Please tell me," Gerard begs him. Frank finally looks at Gerard with tears falling from his eyes and onto his hollow cheeks. 

"Why's it even matter?" Frank asks as more tears fall, and he's just seconds away from sobbing and completely losing control of his emotions.

"Because I love you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We finally met Ray! I know we didn't see much of him, but there's more coming, because we like ray. As always, thank you for reading, and feel free to leave a comment. I love reading your feedback. -Em


	10. Trying to Talk

"Because I love you," Gerard says to Frank, and he lifts the hand he isn't holding Frank's hand with, and he cups Frank's chin in his hand, "and you don't need to be suffering alone."

"How do you know?" Frank asks. Gerard smiles sadly at him.

"I know things. I've suspected it ever since we were hanging out on that abandoned highway. You've been acting different for a while, and that night you came over to my place was the night that I found out. It's why I was acting a little different around you, and it's why I was acting like a crazy bitch that night. You know, I don't like Bert at all, but he came up to me that day after lunch and told me what he saw through the window when he was going on a walk at night. I didn't want to believe him, but it all made sense, and I didn't know how to cope with it, and it gave me a panic attack. I didn't want you to go home because I was so afraid he was right, and when your mom called, I just knew," Gerard says with teary eyes. 

"The thought of anyone hurting you scares me so much," Gerard says. Frank looks back down at his lap.

"The middle of junior year was the first," Frank says so quietly that is Gerard wasn't right next to him, he probably wouldn't have even heard him. 

"How bad is it?" Gerard asks. 

"I don't really even know. I've been trying to just pretend it isn't there," He says. Gerard nods, and Frank feels his hand gently stroking his cheek, and after a few seconds, he feels him pulling him into his embrace, and Frank goes into his arms without a fight, needing to be held right now as he cries. Gerard hugs him for a long time.

"I had Ray put some ice in the freezer earlier for you. Can we go inside and talk in there?" Gerard asks quietly. Frank nods, so they both stand up and get out of the hot tub, and they walk inside. Gerard directs Frank into one of the bathrooms by Ray's parent's room, and he goes in there.

Frank waits a few minutes for Gerard to come back, and when he does, he's changed into pajamas, and he's carrying more clothes that Frank assumes are for himself, and he's also carrying a few ice packs. Frank is sitting on the closed toilet.

"I got these for you a little bit ago. I know you like soft things, and it's soft," Gerard says, showing Frank the green pajama pants he holds up. He sets the ice down on the counter, and Frank watches him with teary and red-rimmed eyes, not really sure where they're going with this.

"You don't gotta show me if you don't want to," Gerard says softly, "but I got you some medicine to help with the pain." Gerard holds out a pill bottle, and Frank takes it, but he doesn't open it. Gerard sets down the clothes on the counter, and looks at Frank for a moment.

"Are you okay?" He asks. He watches Frank shake his head and drop his shoulders.

"Can you talk about it?" Gerard asks.

"I don't know," Frank says, standing up and grabbing the clothes on the counter. 

"Do you need to see?" Frank asks. Gerard shakes his head and gives him a caring look.

"Only what you're willing to show, and if it's nothing at all, don't worry about it. I'm not gonna think of you any different regardless of what you've got under your shirt," He tells him. Frank nods, and with a sudden courage he didn't even know he had, he starts to lift his shirt over his head, and he takes it off completely, despite Gerard saying he doesn't have to. Gerard doesn't say a word about it, he just silently looks at Frank's back and sides, before finally walking around him so he's standing in front of him, and he wraps his arms around Frank's bare torso.

"I'm gonna wait in the hallway for you, okay? Bring everything out when you're done," Gerard says, and Frank nods his head, so their hug ends, and then Gerard leaves Frank on his own to dress himself.

It doesn't take him a long time, and within a few minutes, Frank is out of the bathroom carrying his clothes in one hand, and the ice packs in the other. They start walking over to Ray's bedroom, and Mikey is asleep on the bean bag. They go up to the loft, where Ray is also asleep. Frank lays down on the bed first and on his stomach. Gerard lays down next to him on his side, and after a few seconds, Frank feels a cold sensation on a few spots on his back from the ice packs Gerard got.

"Did you mean it, or were you just trying to get me to talk?" Frank asks, looking at his friend. 

"Mean what?" Gerard asks.

"You love me?" Frank asks quietly. There's a few seconds of silence before Gerard answers.

"Yes. I do love you," Gerard says.

"Why?" He asks, and he sees Gerard roll his eyes at him like it was the dumbest question he's ever heard.

"Why? Why the hell wouldn't I?" He asks, reaching out and brushing the hair out of Frank's face.

"Maybe for one, I'm a fucking train-wreck," Frank says sarcastically.

"Shut the hell up. Do you actually think I give a shit about that? Because I don't. I don't care if you're the most emotionally unstable person living on fucking earth, you're still perfect to me, and maybe that's just because I'm lonely and I've wanted a boyfriend for years, but Frank, I think it's more than that. I know that you know there's a reason I haven't dated any of those boys who've shown interest in me, and have you ever thought that just maybe, that reason is you?" Gerard asks quietly, not wanting to wake up Ray or Mikey. 

Frank looks at him with questioning eyes, like he's still processing what Gerard just told him, but then after a few seconds, he smiles at him.

"I've loved you a long time," Frank says after a moment. He waits for Gerard to react, and he does by leaning forward and pressing his lips to his friends forehead, and he scoots himself closer to him so that he can hold Frank in his arms. Frank lifts his head up and rests it on Gerard's chest, and he feels him breathe in and out.

"I don't want you to go home tomorrow. We can skip the homecoming dance and just go to my house. It'll be just us," Gerard says. 

"I can't," Frank replies.

"Why not?" Gerard asks.

"My mom needs me. I can't just up and leave," Frank says.

"Frank, she beat the shit out of you so bad that you couldn't go to school for days. You can't go back there," Gerard says, trying to reason with him.

"Gee, I said I can't. She doesn't take care of herself, and someone has to," Frank says.

"Yeah? Then who the hell is going to take care of you?" He asks.

"I can take care of myself. I'm not dead. I need you to bring me back home later," Frank says, "We can talk about it later, okay? Lets just go to sleep."

"Fine. This conversation isn't over. Love you, Frankie," Gerard says. Frank smiles and closes his eyes and relaxes against his chest.

"Love you, too, Gee."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, there wasn't really a big talk. Don't worry. We've still got that coming :)
> 
> also, I changed my username on wattpad. it is now party-pxsion


	11. Famous Last Words

The drive home is nerve wracking. Mikey stayed at Ray's place and he's going to stay there the rest of the weekend, and Ray is going to drive him back to the Way house on Sunday. About five minutes before Gerard and Frank arrive at Frank's home, Gerard pulls over on a rich person subdivision, and he looks over at Frank worriedly. 

"I need you to call me as soon as you can. Tell me if anything goes wrong, I promise I'll come over to get you even if it's in the middle of the night," Gerard says.

"I'll be okay, and I'll call you," Frank says, trying to reassure his friend (more than friend?). Gerard is silent for a moment.

"Can I please just bring you to my house? You don't have to step foot in your house ever again, Frank. You're an adult now," Gerard says. Frank chews on his lip and shakes his head.

"As much as I want to say yes, she's still my mom, and I have to take care of her. I'm sorry, Gee, but nothing you can say can stop me going home. I gotta be there for her," Frank says.

"Why can't you let me be there for you?" Gerard asks quietly, starting to tear up, really not wanting to leave Frank with the person who abuses him, but deep down, he knows it's going to take so much more for him to leave. People who get abused never leave easily and without a fight. It's just not how it works, and he probably doesn't even realize how wrong it is.

Frank reaches over and takes hold of Gerard's left hand, and he squeezes it.

"You are here for me, but I can take care of myself. I'll be okay. I promise," Frank says. They meet eyes, and Gerard nods, even though he's certain that he won't be okay. Shit like this just doesn't go away on it's own, but he agrees with him anyway, because at least one person has to be on his side.

"Call me," Gerard whispers, gently stroking Frank's knuckles with his thumb. Neither of them talk for a moment, and they both stare forward at the darkening sky in front of them. It's supposed to storm tonight, but the rain is coming in early.

Frank is still starting ahead with his fingers linked together with Gerard's, and he doesn't realize he's staring at him until he feels their hands separate, and he feels a hand oh his cheek.

"I'm gonna miss you, baby," Gerard whispers, and Frank turns his head towards him, and his other hand comes up to his other cheek, so he's cupping Frank's face in his palms. He leans forward until their foreheads touch, and they rest against each other.

"I'll miss you, too," Frank replies back, and Gerard can feel his breath fanning on his lips. Their eyes are both closed, so Frank can't see that Gerard's tongue darts out to wet his lips. They stay like that, neither of them moving, and they're so close that every time the other breathes out, they feel the warmth of their air on their faces.

"What the hell are you waiting for?" Frank asks, already breathless. Gerard smiles.

"I'm waiting for you to become so restless that you just want wait any longer and you kiss me first," Gerard whispers, leaning closer so their lips are so close to touching, "Cause that would be _really_ hot."

"Oh my god, Gee, shut the fuck up," Frank replies breathlessly, and he closes the very small gap between them, initiating their first kiss. It's slow and languid and sloppy, but even with all of those, it's perfect at the same time. They pull apart for a moment to get some air, and this time, it's Gerard who pulls Frank back, and his lips chase Frank's, growing hungrier for more. Gerard kisses Frank until Frank has to push him back, because he can't fucking breathe with Gerard sticking his tongue down his throat.

After catching his breath again, though, Frank's hands are on Gerard's face, pulling him closer so he can press his lips to his mouth again, because face it, Gerard's mouth is intoxicating. This kiss is slower, as Gerard is letting Frank set the pace.

He wasn't planning on making out with Frank to have more time with him before he inevitably brings him home, but he doesn't regret it, though he may regret choosing now to be the time they first kissed, because already, he wants more. More than just sweet kisses, and he knows he's going to be antsy to get to his house after he drops off Frank, because well, he's going to have an issue he needs to take care of.

Their lips move against each other for a few seconds longer, and when they split apart, it's only for a second, because Gerard can't help but press his lips against Frank's a few times, just little pecks, but they feel so good.

When Gerard finally pulls away, he looks at Frank, who's face is a whole new shade of red he's never seen before, and he can't help but laugh.

"You look like a fucking tomato," Gerard laughs, and Frank doesn't try to hide his face, instead, he leans in and presses his lips to Gerard's once more, and he smiles against his mouth, before leaning away from him and sitting back properly in the passenger seat.

Gerard leans back against his seat and starts the car again.

"You're cute," He says, not looking at Frank.

"Shut up," Frank replies, and he sees Gerard smile, and then the car starts moving again, and they're on the road to hell, otherwise known as the shit-hole that the Iero's live in. There isn't much nice to say about the house or the witch that lives in there with Frank.

It only takes a few minutes for them to get there, and when Gerard pulls in the driveway, he really doesn't want Frank to go, but he doesn't say anything, because Frank is starting to look stressed himself. He watches him unbuckle his seat belt and reach for the door handle, but then he pauses, and turns around and looks at Gerard, and then a second later, he's in his arms and tucking his head under Gerard's chin. 

"See you on Monday," Frank says.

"If you don't show, I'm gonna dip and come over and stay with you during the day," Gerard says, but Frank shakes his head.

"You won't have to. I'll be fine," Frank assures. He doesn't see the skeptical look on Gerard's face.

"You better be fine. I miss you already," Gerard says.

"I miss you more," Frank says, tilting his head up to press his lips to Gerard's one last time before he gets out of the car and starts walking to his door. He turns around and waves at him, and Gerard waves back, and then Frank turns the doorknob, and he walks inside the house.

The house is quiet, and it takes him less than two minutes to realize he's home alone. 

He decides to head to his bedroom, and he sits on his sits on the chair in the corner of his room, and he lifts up his guitar and starts playing a song that he's been working on without the band's knowledge, and he doesn't know if he'll ever share it with the boys. It means _something_ to him, but he only has a little written, and if he was to show it to them, he'd want to finish it first.

_So many_

_Bright lights that cast a shadow_

_But can I speak?_

_Well, is it hard understanding I'm incomplete?_

_A life that's so demanding_

_I get so weak_

_A love that's so demanding_

_I can't speak._

When Frank finishes singing the small part of the song he has written, he hears the front door of the house open, and the only person that would be here is his mother, so Frank quickly puts his guitar back down, and he gets up and shuts his door and locks it.

There are times he can deal with his moms shit, but today isn't that day, and he's going to spend the rest of his Saturday in peace and deal with his mom tomorrow. He just hopes she doesn't even realize he's here, and she's drunk so that she ignores him completely and passes out in front of the TV on the couch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if anyone has figured this out yet, but yes, Famous Last Words is one of my favorite songs by MCR. I have a bunch of favorites, and recently Desert Song and The World Is Ugly have been making their ways to the top of that list. While I'm rambling about songs I like, what are your favorites?


	12. What The Fuck?

The weekend passes without incident, and so does the school this week. It's getting colder outside, so that's what Frank and Gerard are inside, and they've got hot chocolate. They're at Gerard's house, because Frank's mom is out of town for the second week of November. His mom doesn't know he's over here, but it doesn't really matter, because she's not even here to tell him to go back home. Mikey is at Tyler's house, and Gerard's dad won't be home until around one or two in the morning, so they've got a lot of time to themselves, considering it's barely noon.

Frank is shirtless, but he's wrapped up in like fifty of Gerard's blankets on top of his bed, so he isn't cold. Gerard is sitting at his desk scribbling drawings onto a notebook, and Frank watches him.

"What are you drawing?" Frank asks after a moment. Gerard looks up from his picture and smiles at Frank, and he lifts his drawing and holds it up for him to see. The drawing is of Frank, sleeping. He looks so peaceful in the drawing, and Frank can't help but smile at it.

"Is that really what I look like?" Frank asks, because the drawing is so much more beautiful than Frank can see himself. His eyes look like he's been well rested his whole life, and his cheeks look smooth, and his lips look soft in the sketch. Gerard laughs and shakes his head.

"No, it's not. Though, it would look more accurate if I added a little drool coming out of your mouth," Gerard says. Frank blinks and gives Gerard a funny look.

"I do not,"Frank protests. Gerard rolls his eyes.

"I hate to break it to you, Frankie, but you do," Gerard says. Frank frowns at him, and Gerard gets up out of his chair and goes to sit by Frank. He leans in and closes his eyes and presses a kiss to Frank's lips, and he lingers there for a little bit before pulling back and wrapping his arms around Frank and pulling him into a hug.

"Don't worry, I'll always love you, even if you get drool all over my pillows," Gerard says sweetly, and he leans over and kisses Frank another time, and then he gets up and goes back to his chair and starts scribbling again.

Frank touches his fingertips to his lips and he smiles at the memory of Gerard's kiss that he can still feel. He watches Gerard for a few minutes, but he just wants to do _something._ He takes a sip of his hot chocolate and then sets it down on Gerard's nightstand, and then he unwraps himself from all the blankets he was covered in, and he gets up and walks over to Gerard and decides he's going to sit in his lap.

So he does.

Gerard doesn't pay much attention to him, and he just continues drawing Frank. 

Frank lean in and kisses Gerard's cheek, and then nuzzles his face against him, and he feels Gerard playfully push his face away.

"Fuck off, Frankie, I'm trying to draw your beautiful face," Gerard says, turning his head to look at Frank, who now looks playfully offended. "Shut up," Gerard says when Frank opens his mouth to speak, and he leans in and Frank meets his lips in the middle, and they share a long, slow kiss. They pull apart for air, and then their lips meet again, and Gerard rearranges himself in a more comfortable way, and his hands wrap around Frank's bare shoulders. 

They stay like that for a few minutes, enjoying the feeling of the others lips on their own.

"You're distracting me," Gerard whispers, nuzzling his nose against Frank's.

"Tell me to stop then," Frank replies, and Gerard answers him with another kiss, and he tries to deepen the kiss, when suddenly, a phone starts ringing and they pull apart. Frank looks at Gerard's phone, but his isn't lit up, so he gets up and goes over to the nightstand where his phone's at. He frowns when he sees the caller ID.

"It's my dad," Frank says.

Frank hasn't talked to his dad since middle school. He left Frank with his mother when he was just four years old, but he's tried to stay in contact with him, at least up until eighth grade, when Frank accidentally pissed his dad off when he asked if he could live with him, or at least go to his house on weekends. Of course, his father said no, but he never gave any reason why, and since the, his dad has never called Frank again or answered any calls, but Frank stopped calling him after a few months. Even though they haven't talked in a good four years, Frank never deleted his contact. He kind of just forgot about the guy in general. He never seemed to listen to what Frank had to tell him anyway, and he was kind of shady himself. He knows that his dad remarried around two years ago because he got a friend request from his new wife on Myspace, and he accepted it, but he hasn't been on the site in a long time because his mother got rid of their computer.

His new wife looked decent from the photos he's seen, and her attitude seems so much better than his moms. He was happy that his dad had found someone, but he was more than a little upset that he found out from the internet that he had a step mom, and he was also upset that his own father didn't want him to be a part of that family. Instead of taking in his son, he left Frank with his abusive mom. His dad may not know what his mom does to Frank, but he sure as hell knows she's crazy, because that's kind of the whole reason he left.

He didn't leave because he couldn't take on the responsibility of taking care of a child. If that were the reason, he would have left before he was born. No, he stayed as long as he could put up with her, but she got to be too much, and his dad kind of just dipped on Frank and hoped things would work themselves out.

Spoiler alert!

They didn't.

"Are you going to answer it?" Gerard asks, bringing Frank out of his momentary daze. Frank doesn't answer him, and he reaches for the phone and clicks the call button.

"Hello?" Frank asks.

"Hey, buddy!" An overly cheery voice says. That voice, as annoying as it sounds, Frank can tell it belongs to his father.

"Why'd you call me?" Frank asks, moving to sit down on the side of Gerard's bed.

"I just felt like talking to my son. It's been a while, Frank, how have you been?" His dad asks. Again, Frank frowns.

"Why do you care? You've ignored me for the past four years, and then you got married without even telling me. I have a whole other family out wherever the hell you live, and I've never even met them. I don't even know my step moms name," Frank says, unamused with his fathers game of playing dumb. Frank presses the speakerphone button on his phone so Gerard can hear the conversation, because he's starting to look interested.

"Yeah, about that..." Frank's dad starts, but then he trails off.

"What?" Frank asks.

"You're nineteen now right? I know your birthday was like a week ago. You have your own place?" He asks.

"Eighteen," Frank says, correcting him.

"Right, my bad. Anyway, do you have a house or an apartment yet?" He asks. Frank has an idea where this is going, and he is not liking it.

"Why? Did your wife leave you and now you need somewhere to stay?" Frank asks, not liking this conversation. He hears his dad sigh.

"Something like that, I guess. I kind of... I don't know... killed her?" His dad says quietly. Gerard and Frank meet eyes, and both of their jaws drop.

"He murdered someone?" Gerard whisper yells. Frank is just as confused as Gerard is, and he chooses his next words carefully, trying to keep calm and not stir the pot.

"What the fuck?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this is a little out of nowhere. I was starting to get bored with writing this because I need to add filler chapters before we get to the Fun Stuff, so haha, are we talking to a killer now? I have a bunch of later chapters written, but guys, writing parts of a story with little to no conflict is pretty difficult, I'm not going to lie. But, thankfully, I added some stuff like what you just read, and I think my short-lived writers block is nearly over because I'm almost done writing the chapters between the wild ones I have written for later in this. I don't know if anyone just wasted their time reading this note, but if you did, hi, and thank you for reading. -Em


	13. Amara

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, this chapter kind of sucks. That's all. I hope you enjoy it, though.

"Frank, that's not what I meant. That came out so wrong. I didn't mean I killed her," Frank's dad says in a rushed voice, filled with a lot of regret in his tone.

"What the fuck do you mean then?" Frank asks, trying not to panic and hang up the phone and then call the cops to turn his father in for manslaughter.

"I mean it kind of is because of me, but I didn't physically hurt her. I would never hurt a woman, Frank, you know that!" Frank's father says. 

"Tell me what the hell you're talking about then because I feel like I'm talking to someone who just admitted to killing their wife and they want to stay with me as a cover!" Frank says.

"The baby. I made the baby and it killed her when she gave birth," Frank's dad spits out. Frank stops breathing for a second, trying to process what he just said.

Baby.

_Baby?_

_What the fuck?_

"I'm sorry. Baby? A baby killed your wife?" Frank asks, feeling more confused than he thinks he's ever felt in his life.

"Damn it. I'm sorry for worrying you, Frank. Yes. Lila passed while giving birth. It was a few months ago, and I have been taking care of the baby, and I just got laid off of my job because I have to stay home and take care of her, and I haven't even gone in in over a month. I'm out of money, and I don't know what to do. I need somewhere to stay. Do you have a place or not?" His dad asks. Frank is so confused, and by the look on his boyfriend's face, Gerard is just as confused as Frank is.

"Her? Wait, do I have a sister?" Frank asks.

"Yeah. Sister, sure. Can I live at your place until I get back on my feet?" He asks. Frank ignores his question, and he asks his own question.

"What's her name?" He asks.

"Amara Joanie Iero."

"I have a sister," Frank says, looking at Gerard with a small smile on his face.

"Yeah, you do. Can I stay at your place?" His dad asks.

"I don't have a place. Can I meet her?" Frank asks, starting to get excited over a baby.

A baby that just happens to be his _sister_. 

"Yeah, whatever," His dad says, now sounding completely uninterested in the conversation now knowing that Frank doesn't live on his own.

"When?" Frank asks.

"Whenever you want. I'm probably going to file for unemployment and get a trailer near the park of them in Mona Shores, because I guess I can't just stay with my son who should be moved out and in his own place by now," He says. Frank's eyes light up, and he ignores the last part of what his father said. Mona Shores is where Ray lives, so he would be able to see his sister often.

"Can I meet her in a few days? I go to Mona Shores once a week or so. My friend lives up there," Frank says.

"No, I haven't gotten a house yet. Can you wait a month or so?" His dad asks.

"Yeah," Frank replies, the smile he had on his face growing larger.

"Okay. Hey, I'm gonna let you go now, but I promise I'll call you again in a week or so. I'll tell Amara you said hi. Bye, son," Frank's dad says.

"Bye," Frank replies, and his father hangs up. Frank sets his phone back down on the nightstand, and then looks up at Gerard.

"I thought he actually murdered her," Is the first thing Frank says. Gerard gives Frank a funny look, and then he can't help but burst out laughing, and Frank can't help himself from laughing now either.

"I can't believe I have a sister and he didn't even tell me," Frank says. Gerard nods.

"I bet she looks just like you," Gerard says.

"Do you think she likes Green Day?" Frank asks, and Gerard looks at him like he's an idiot.

"What? Babies can listen to music, too. What if she's really cool, and she joins our band? She could be your backup singer," Frank says.

"You're too much sometimes, you know that?" Gerard asks, shaking his head and smiling, and Frank lifts his hand up to playfully punch his shoulder, and then he lays back against the bed, and Gerard gets up out of his chair and walks over to the bed and sits by Frank.

"Well, what do you want to do now that you got some pretty big news?" Gerard asks, staring down at Frank.

"Do our homework," Frank says, making a very serious face, but saying it with sass, like that isn't really what he _wants_ to do, but he does have an assignment due on Monday. What Frank really wants to do is go back to making out with Gerard, but he's not about to suggest that, for reasons.

(Being a bottom).

"Seriously?" Gerard asks. Frank shrugs his shoulders.

"Okay. Let's get some big ass brain power then, shall we?" Gerard says. Frank rolls his eyes, and he starts sitting up, but Gerard gently pushes on his shoulders, keeping him lying down, and then he leans over him and starts kissing Frank's collarbones, and then he starts slowly making his way up his neck, until finally, he reaches Frank's lips, and they press softly against his, with less pressure than he was using earlier.

They don't kiss for long though, because they do actually have homework they need to get done. They both grab their backpacks and drag them out to the kitchen so they can start working on the shit that their English teacher, Mr. Lennon, decided to give them to do over the weekend, because obviously, he imagines that people don't have lives of their own, and the weekend is the best time to do work. Mr. Lennon really should step back and take a second to imagine all the people that want to make out with their boyfriends instead of reading another one of Edgar Allen Poe's creepy ass novels. This is including all those popular freshmen whores that like making out with their groomer seniors, even though that's actually disgusting, and Frank doesn't understand why a fourteen year old would want to date someone that is about to be illegal for them to date, but who is he to judge? After all, he is just a small emo twink that clearly knows nothing about girls. Not that he wants to though, he's perfectly happy with being with Gerard.

Even though neither of them actually want to, they both pull out their books, and they start reading about a crazy guy who can hear a dead mans heart beating below the floorboards of his house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The book they're reading is called The Tell-Tale Heart. It's really short and it only takes a few minutes to read, but it actually is pretty good. Another thing- sorry I didn't turn Frank's dad into a murderer. I actually thought about doing that for a second, but I already ruined one of his parents, so I might as well be nice for once, so I gave Fronk Oreo a sister. I named her after two people I know, because those people are really nice and have hearts of gold, and if Frank had a sister in the real world, I feel like she would be the kindest person in the world. Probably the shortest, too :)
> 
> Kay, that's all, thank you so much for reading, I absolutely love the people who leave comments. You guys mean the world to me. -Em


	14. See You Monday

Why do we even go to school?

For one, Frank doesn't think he's ever passed a class in his life, and also, he's never actually used a day of his education in his life outside of school. He knows the basic life skills, like how to cook and fold his laundry and clean the house.

When the hell is he ever going to need to know the surface area of a trapezoid if he doesn't even want to go into construction?

Never.

So why do we go? 

This is the kind of stuff Frank thinks about as he sits in the back of his trigonometry class doodling in his notebook and not writing down the notes. If he's not going to understand it anyway, why bother even trying to learn something he'll never use?

It's Friday, anyway, so it's not like he's going to be doing anything really important, but just because he has free time, he doesn't want to use it in this class. He would much rather skip class and go back to Gerard's house tonight, but he can't do that. He's going to be taking the bus home today because his mother is supposed to get home a little after he gets off the bus. He kind of wishes his mom would go back out of town because he was really enjoying himself, being with Gerard and not having to worry about home life.

Then Frank decides that he's too bored to even doodle in his notebook, so he asks his teacher if he can go to the bathroom. The teacher lets him go, and Frank just takes his whole backpack with him. A few people stare with questioning eyes, but no one makes a move to try and stop him from ditching this class. Most kids in here want to ditch anyway.

Frank starts making his way to the graffiti filled bathroom, and he texts Gerard.

_(2:12pm)+gee_

Gerard takes a few minutes to reply, and while Frank waits, he starts decorating the new stall door that the school just installed because someone broke it in a fight a few months ago. He draws a spider with something that resembles a lightning bolt in the back of it, and by the time he finishes, he's got a message from Gerard.

_(2:21pm)-wat_

_(2:21pm)+wanna ditch n hang in the br w/ me_

_(2:23pm)-wat 1_

_(2:24pm)+by mr bulsaras class_

_(2:26pm)-yeh. sys_

Frank looks down at his phone screen and smiles at the message, and he waits for Gerard to show up. He takes a few minutes, but he does show, and he brought his whole backpack, too.

"Hey, baby," Gerard says when he sees Frank. He walks over to him and sets his bag down next to Frank's, and then he sits on the floor next to him.

"Hey," Frank replies.

"Why'd you ditch?" Gerard asks. Frank shrugs.

"I was bored," He replies. Gerard nods. Being bored is a good enough reason to ditch class, he's done it many times before, so he's in no place to be judging Frank. Gerard starts digging through his backpack and pulls out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter.

"How the hell did you get in here without getting caught with those?" Frank asks, surprised that he could pull them out so casually.

"I'm a ninja, baby," He says, lighting one and taking a puff of it, and then he hands it to Frank and lets him take a drag. Frank hands it back after a little bit.

"My mom's coming home today," Frank says. Gerard turns toward him to see what he looks like, to try and read him.

"How are you feeling about that?" Gerard asks. Frank sighs, and Gerard hands the cigarette back to him, letting Frank finish it if he wants to.

"Anxious. I don't know what kind of mood she's going to be in, and there's so many different scenarios I can think of, but I have no idea if any will be right," Frank says. Gerard is about to reply, but a freshman walks into the bathroom, and Gerard gives him a death glare. The kid is about to walk into a stall, but with Gerard staring lasers in the back of his head, he doesn't make it in the stall before he mutters an apology and leaves. Gerard turns his attention back to Frank.

"You can stay with me," Gerard suggests. Frank shakes his head.

"You know I can't, Gee," He replies, rubbing the cigarette into the floor and then throwing it into the trash. Gerard reaches over and takes Frank's hand in his own.

"I wish you would," He says, lifting Frank's hand so he can kiss his knuckles.

"I can't though, I have responsibilities at home," Frank says.

"I know," Gerard says, "but that isn't going to stop me from trying to get you to stop going home." Frank smiles sadly at him, and then leans against Gerard's shoulder. Gerard ends up letting go of his hand so he can wrap his arm around his waist. Frank starts messing around with his backpack until he finds his iPod, and he pulls it out, along with a pair of headphones. Frank puts one bud in his ear, and he hands the other to Gerard, and he does the same. He scrolls through his playlist and finds a song, and then he leans back against Gerard and closes his eyes, content with spending the rest of the school day like this.

They are only able to get through three songs before the final bell of the day rings, but they both enjoyed every second of it. They both put their backpack on, but they linger in the bathroom for a moment.

"See you Monday?" Gerard asks. Frank nods.

"Monday," He replies, agreeing with him.

Before either of them leave the bathroom, Frank stands up on his tip toes and leans in to press a kiss to Gerard's lips. It lasts only a couple seconds before they have to pull away, because Frank can't miss the bus.

"Love you, Frankie," Gerard says before Frank turns around to start walking outside and to the bus pick up spot. The corners of Frank's mouth turn upward.

"Love you, too," He replies, and then turns away and starts walking. On the way outside, Frank thinks about dipping on his mom and just going to Gerard's place, but he can't. She's probably going to need him for something, so he's going to go home. 

As he boards the bus, the smell is awful. It smells like the freshmen that haven't discovered deodorant yet, and it smells like the football players sweating like pigs before their games even start. He chooses to ignore it though, and he takes a seat near the front of the bus, not caring to be in the back with the people who think it's funny to be racist and homophobic. He puts his headphones back on, and he plays the music.

The ride home consists of listening to Green Day and Nirvana.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, the next few chapters from here are going to be dark and violent filled and pretty graphic. The chapters are going to be the part where it gets worse before it gets better, and I just want to give you guys a warning. Please from here on out, read with caution, and just know there's a lot of dark stuff coming. I will add another warning at the top of the next chapter in case if you forget.
> 
> That's all, thanks for reading, I hope you all have a good day.


	15. Sleep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains graphic abuse. Please, do NOT read if this will trigger you. I will have a summary of what happened in this chapter at the beginning of the next one. If you do choose to read, please be aware of my warning.

As soon as Frank got home, he could tell something was wrong. The house was a mess, and there was broken glass all over the place, and it looks like someone may have broken in, and his mom is supposed to be home.

_What if they..._

No.

Frank starts rushing around the house, trying to find his mother.

"Mom! Where are you?" He yells. He's met with no answer, and he's starting to get worried. He looks for her in her bedroom, which is empty. He looks in both of the bathrooms and the kitchen, but she isn't there. Then, he starts heading to his bedroom, to see maybe if she decided to hide in his closet because his actually closes, unlike hers, because hers is filled with a bunch of junk.

When he enters his bedroom, that's where he finds her, standing facing the wall and staring at the drawings that Gerard made for him. She looks so eerily calm, like nothing here happened, and the house is in perfect condition, and that she didn't just turn her eyes to a note that Gerard gave him that's sitting on his desk that says that he loves Frank.

That's all that the note says.

_I love you, Frankie._

_~Gerard_

Shit. He never told her he was gay, but she doesn't even look bothered by the note. Instead, she smooths out her shirt and turns around and then smiles in a weird way that Frank has never seen her do.

"Mom? What happened to the house? Are you okay?" Frank asks. She takes a single step toward him with that freaky ass smile.

"No, _Frankie_ , I am not okay. Where the hell were you? At a _boys_ house?" His mom asks, very aggressively calm.

"You were out of the house, so I went and stayed with a friend. What happened to the house? Did someone break in?" Frank asks. His mom smiles and shakes her head.

"No, silly. I just felt like we needed a little change. I've been here alone for a whole two days, you know. All lonely and nothing to do. I was waiting for you do come home. I was worried about you. It's been two days, Frank," She says. Frank starts setting his things down on the ground.

"I'll pick it up for you. I'm sorry about the mess," Frank says, realizing that she's not exactly sane right now, and he doesn't want to pick a fight with her. He's ready to turn around and head to the kitchen for cleaning supplies, hoping that if he cleans the house, she'll stop acting so weird, but she waves her hand in front of herself, dismissing Frank's idea.

"No, no, I like it like this. It makes me feel good!" She says, eyes widening and suddenly very excited, and now, she's really worrying Frank.

"Mom, when's the last time you took your meds?" Frank asks slowly. She throws her head back and laughs.

"I stopped taking them last week, the day I left. You know, I think I feel better than I did when I was on them. I feel like a whole new person!" She exclaims.

"You destroyed the entire house, and you're acting funny. Come on, lets go get some of your meds. Are they still in your medicine cabinet?" Frank asks. His mother quickly changes her facial expressions from this overexcited crazy person, into a more angry person that he recognizes more than the weird Suzy homemaker she was being.

"I do not need them! Frank, I feel great, and you don't need to ruin this like you've ruined everything else for me!" His mom yells, and he closes his eyes and flinches at her tone.

"Okay! I'm sorry for suggesting it. Can you please get out of my room? I've got stuff I need to work on. We can keep the house how you like it. I won't change anything," Frank says. She starts walking past Frank and towards the door, but instead of leaving the room, she slams the door shut and turns back around, and faces her son.

"I hate you. You know, out of all the things I regret in life, meeting your dad was the second thing, but having _you_ , I think you're the worst mistake I've ever made." His mom then laughs, and Frank tries to feel sad because of what she said, but the truth is, he's never felt loved by her. She was always distant, and he doesn't think she was really ever mentally present in his life.

"I'm sorry you feel that way," Frank says quietly, knowing that she probably isn't going to be leaving his room anytime soon, and at least he could try and be civil with her to try and calm her down.

"You're sorry? If you were sorry, you would have packed up your ass and moved out of here a long time ago! All you've ever done is drink up my money and be a useless piece of shit I keep paying for! And for what? All you are is an ungrateful waste of air!" His mom yells at him, stepping forward and pushing his shoulders. Frank keeps his chill, though, and he doesn't fight back, at least not physically.

"I stay here because you can't take care of yourself! I mean, look at you! You trashed the whole damn house and you're not taking your meds! Hell, Mom, if I wasn't here, all you would ever do is sit on your ass all day and drink yourself to death!" Frank retaliates. His mother glares at him, and right away, Frank knows he made the wrong choice to try and argue with her.

"I don't think I've ever hated anyone more than I hate you," His mother seethes, and her eyes are cold as ice, and Frank is pretty sure this is the maddest he's ever seen her, and he knows that this isn't going to end will for him when she reaches for his belt that he had draped over his spinning desk chair.

"Mom, come on, put that down. You're going to do something you'll regret. How about I give you some money and you can go to town and spend it on whatever you want? Yeah? I'll give you a lot, you can go to a bar and hang out there for a while. I'll even call you a cab to take you there" Frank suggests, fearing his safety. He doesn't get an answer made of words, though, and he hears a snap before he feels the belt strike his side in one swift move, and he feels it break his skin. She hits him a few more times in that same spot, until she eventually knocks him onto the ground, and he's pleading silently with his eyes for her to stop.

"The only thing I regret is having you, you piece of shit!" His mom yells at him, raising the belt over her head and striking him in the side again. Frank groans and rolls over onto his stomach so she's not able to hit any sensitive spots, but she takes it as open season, and brutally hard, she starts striking his back, and nearly every time, he can feel his skin break, and he feels like he's going to throw up.

It's only a few seconds later that he realizes that he doesn't just feel like he might puke, he knows he's going to, and he turns his head sideways against his carpet, and his stomach churns, and he feels his food from this morning coming back up his throat, and it spills onto the carpet, and he's starting to shake with pain, but that doesn't stop his mom.

She kicks his legs and his hip, and she starts pulling his hair so she can drag him away from his vomit and punch him a few times in the mouth until she splits his lip and blood is flowing from his chin, and he's coughing, trying not to accidentally breathe it in.

"Please... stop," Frank gasps out, trying to shield himself from the blows, but it doesn't work, because she hits his arms when he tries to block his face. When he turns over on his side, he can tell it was a mistake by the way he sees her leg swing back, and he tries to change his position, but she's too fast, and he foot makes contact with his stomach, and Frank struggles to breathe, and his arms clutch his sides.

He doesn't realize he's about to throw up again until it's already coming out of him and it's all over his cheek and in his hair. He feels so nauseated, and the smell of it isn't helping him one bit. He's starting to feel so weak, and his eyelids are growing heavy, and he hardly even feels his shirt ripping when she starts to try and throw him around by the collar of it. He thinks he gets slammed into a wall, but he's not even sure if what's happening is real at this point.

Frank stops moving when she drops him onto the ground and his head hits the floor, other than the shaking that he can't control. 

He can't look at her. He can't even cry, it hurts so bad. Out of every time she's laid a hand on him, she's never gone this far so that he's gasping for air and shaking so violently. His mother stops hitting him then, and watches him. 

Her face contorts, and she looks like she might cry when Frank opens his eyes and looks at her just to see if she's finished yet. She stares down at him with a look that's so hard to describe. It looks like regret mixed with sadness, and even failure. 

She looks at the boy she raised, sucking in shaky breaths and shaking, bleeding on the floor and covered in his sweat and blood and vomit, just _waiting_ for her to do something more, or just leave. He's hardly even recognizable to her anymore, she thinks, because she just fucked up his face so bad. She sees his scarred wrists, and she wonders if maybe that stuff is because of her. Before now, she didn't even know his arms looked like that.

It's like the weight of what she's done to him for such a long time is finally hitting her, and she can't escape it. She did this to him, and now he's lying on the floor, struggling to breathe. Frank watches her with tears in his eyes, and he watches as she slowly walks away from him, and she opens his door and closes it, so quietly that Frank couldn't hear the doorknob click. He feels a tear making its way down his cheek, and it stings.

Even though she looks remorseful, Frank knows that she's not going to call anyone to get him help. He knows that unless he's able to do something himself, he's going to lay here until he eventually dies, or until he can find enough strength to get up and find help himself.

He tries to reach for his phone just a few feet away in front of him, and he manages to take hold of it, but he doesn't turn it on and try to call anyone.

Sleep has never sounded so good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah. This chapter was pretty heavy. I think this might have been the longest one I've written so far. Even though it was very violent, I hope I don't lose readers. I really enjoy writing, and I hope you stay to the end. I'm worried about posting this because it's so dark and I don't know if this is something that anyone wants to read. If I get too much negative feedback, I will take it down, but yeah. Thank you for reading.


	16. Ugly Ceiling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Summary of the previous chapter: Frank arrived at home. The house was trashed, and Frank was worried that something happened to his mother while he was gone. He found her in his bedroom, and it turns out, she was the one who trashed the house. She was acting crazy, and Frank tried to convince her to leave his room or leave the house. His attempts at trying to get her to leave were not successful, and his mother started to beat on him. It was a lot, and after she was done, he was too injured to move or call anyone for help. His mother left the room, and Frank fell asleep on his floor.

The phone is ringing.

That's all Frank knows. It's ringing, and it's loud, and it's hurting his ears, and he's got a pounding headache. Frank's tired, actually, no. He's exhausted, and he really doesn't want to answer a call right now. He just wants to get up and lie in his bed and close his eyes and never wake up again. Living seems like a lot right now, and he doesn't have the energy to deal the anyone.

His eyes slowly open, and he realizes it's dark outside. He looks at his phone, which is still lit up, showing someone is calling him. He tilts it so he's able to see who's calling him, but his vision is blurry, and he can't read it, so he sets it down and closes his eyes, ready to go back to sleep.

_Why the hell am I so tired?_

Frank barely remembers what happened. He just knows that he came home, and now he's on the floor, unable to move. He kind of wants to laugh. He feels nothing, like he's fucking paralyzed and some demon is about to come and welcome him to Hell.

He feels like he's laughing, but no sound comes out.

His eyes stay closed.

The phone rings again, but this time, when Frank opens his eyes, it's bright out. Too bright. It's weird though, because he swears he only closed his eyes for a second. He looks at his phone, and brings it towards his ear and presses the answer button.

He doesn't give the person calling any greeting, he just waits for whoever it is to start talking.

"Hello?" The person asks through the phone. The corners of Frank's mouth curl upward when he hears the voice. He knows who's talking. It's Gerard fucking Way. Man, Frank really loves that guy.

"Hello? Frank?" He asks again, and Frank doesn't realize he didn't answer the first time. He tries to formulate a sentence, but nothing comes out, and he doesn't even realize his mouth never opened. Now he's really confused.

_Why can't I fucking talk?_

"Frank? If you're there, can you tap the mic on your phone so I know it's you?" Gerard asks. Frank thinks he sounds dumb asking him to do that, but he lifts a finger and taps on the mic anyway.

"Oh my god," He hears Gerard whisper, "Frankie, baby, talk to me. Tell me you're okay," He says, sounding worried. Frank doesn't answer him, and it's silent for a few seconds before Gerard talks again.

"Frank? I'm gonna come over there to check on you. I'll be there in twenty minutes," Gerard says, and Frank doesn't even try to reply before he hears the beep, signalling that Gerard hung up. Frank drops his phone back down to the carpet and he stares at the ceiling.

His ceiling is one of those ugly popcorn ceilings that everyone hates, especially kids with bunk beds who put their feet on the ceiling just because they can, and the dusty stuff ends up getting into their eyes. That's what his ceiling is like. He's never really liked it, because moths like to come inside through his window and stick to it in the middle of the night, because Frank took out the screen a long time ago because he wanted an easier way to get out of the house without passing his mom.

The ceiling is just a ceiling though, and he decides to stop staring at the ugliness of it. He looks at his door, which seems like it's been closed for years. The house is quiet, and he wonders if his mother is even home, or if she just ended up passing out on the couch without turning on the TV. He also wonders if she even came home last night because it's so damn quiet. He's about to try and stand up to go walk around the house and see if he can find her, but then he realizes he still can't move. He chuckles, and he can actually hear himself now. 

He feels so dumb, laying on the floor and unable to move. Staring at the ceiling isn't helping him, and _goddamn_ , the sun is bright.

Frank then decides he's seen and heard enough today, and he closes his eyes and quickly falls back asleep, still unaware of the events that had taken place the previous afternoon. 

He woke up in the morning.

He walked to school.

He was in math.

He was in the bathroom.

He was with Gerard.

He kissed him.

He got on the bus.

The bus took him home like it always does.

Yet, he can't remember a damn thing after that.

_What the hell happened to me?_

_How the hell did I end up like this?_

_Where the fuck is my mom?_

_I want to cry, but I can't feel a thing._

_I want Gerard._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for my mini hiatus. There was an issue that needed to be resolved at home, and I was unable to go online for a period of time. I'm back now though, and I will try and continue to post daily, if not, every other day. Thanks for reading.


	17. New Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is in Gerard's perspective

Worried.

That's all Gerard could feel when he was in the phone with Frank. He's not even sure it was Frank on the phone, but it damn sure seemed like it was. Who else would have answered it anyway?

Gerard ended up hanging up the call, and he quickly got dressed and started driving over to the Iero house in his beautiful car. He tries not to speed, but no cars are on the road yet, so he feels like it doesn't matter if he goes just a little bit over the limit.

What if nothing even is wrong with Frank, and he's just getting a little panicked over nothing?

He tries to just think his gut feeling is wrong, and that Frank is perfectly fine, and that he just answered a call by accident, and when he tapped the mic, it was just purely coincidental. He doesn't slow down his speed, though, and he ends up getting to Frank's house sooner than he told him that he would arrive. He quickly shuts off his car and steps out of it and then he shoves his keys into his pocket and starts walking up to the front door. He tries to just turn the handle and walk in, but today just so happens to be the one time Linda can lock a door.

Gerard knocks on the door with his knuckles, and waits a few seconds, and no one comes to the door. Gerard knocks again.

"Linda, come unlock the door!" Gerard shouts from outside. He hears her inside shouting something back along the lines of "go away". Gerard knocks again.

"God damn it, Linda, open the door!" Gerard shouts, and finally, he can hear her taking her sweet time to slowly begin her short walk to the door. When she opens the door, she only opens it a crack to peek her head out.

"What do you want?" She asks grouchily. 

"Frank's home?" He asks. She nods.

"Let me in," Gerard demands, and it takes her a moment to move, but she ends up opening the door, and Gerard doesn't even wait for her to move out of his way, he just carefully pushes her out of the way, not wanting to hurt her at all, and he walks past her, heading over to Frank's bedroom. He stops outside the door and knocks on it.

"Frank? I'm gonna come in," Gerard says, and when he opens the door, Gerard doesn't think anything could have prepared him for what he was about to see.

Frank is curled up in the middle of his bedroom on the floor in a torn up shirt with dried blood all over it. Around the room, there's a few piles of vomit, and Gerard sees there's even some in Frank's hair. His face is swollen and bruised, and Gerard is certain that those aren't the only bruises on him.

Gerard is so engrossed in what's in front of him that he doesn't even realize he's got a visitor standing behind him.

"He's okay, he probably just fell off his bed last night," Linda says, like she didn't touch him at all. Gerard turns around and glares at her.

"You better find a way out of the country before I call the cops, cause they're gonna be here real soon to haul your ass to jail," Gerard says, clenching his teeth so he doesn't lash out on Frank's mother. She looks at him with a look of guilt and shame, and she turns around and walks away, leaving them alone. Gerard turns his attention back to Frank, who's now looking at him, and it doesn't look like he knows what's going on. Gerard starts walking over to him, and he kneels in front of Frank.

"Hey, I'm here," He says softly, reaching a hand out and rubbing his shoulder.

"I'm gonna bring you to my house, alright? Gonna help you," Gerard says. Frank doesn't say a word, but he does nod. Gerard rubs his shoulder a few seconds more, and then he starts to try to lift Frank into his arms, but it doesn't work so well. After touching his back, Frank whimpers and his eyes start tearing up.

"I'm sorry," Gerard whispers, trying again to get him into his arms, but Frank groans when he tries to lift him. Gerard feels so bad, and he can't even begin to imagine the amount of pain he's in.

"Come on, sweetheart, try and be strong. Just a little longer," Gerard whispers, leaning over him and gently moving his hair away from his face, and he presses a kiss to his forehead. He then starts to bend Frank's knees up to put an arm under, and he's able to slide his forearm under his knees and hold him securely.

"You're doing good, baby," Gerard says quietly, looking at Frank, and he notices he's got tears coming out from his eyes now. He's in pain, but he doesn't complain about it.

"Alright, just a little more, and we can get the hell out of here," Gerard says, gently trying to lift Frank's back up, until finally, he's in Gerard's arms, and he's laying his head against his chest. The vomit that got in Frank's hair is now on Gerard's shoulder, but he doesn't care. All he wants to do is get Frank out of here. Gerard reaches down and picks up Frank's phone and puts it in his front pocket, and then after that, he starts standing up, cradling Frank in his arms.

"I've got you," Gerard whispers, and he begins carrying Frank out of the room and down the hallway. Gerard notices Linda sitting on the couch watching them, and Frank's eyes are now closed, so he can't see her.

"Where are you taking my boy?" She asks quietly, like he's going to snap at her for even looking in their direction. 

"His new home. Don't worry about him. I'll make sure he's safe," Gerard says, and he starts walking again, but when Linda speaks, he stops again. As much as he hates her, Gerard is still polite, because she is still Frank's mother, and the least he figures he can do is tell her where he's kidnapping her son off to.

"Is he coming back?" Linda asks. Gerard shakes his head and forces a tight smile, making the decision for Frank, though he's pretty sure Frank would agree with this choice this time.

"No. He's not coming back. He's going to be at his new home, and he's going to be loved the way you never loved him. The world is ugly, Linda, but he's one of the most beautiful people I've ever met, and I'm sorry that you couldn't see him the way I do," Gerard says.

"I'm sorry," She says. Gerard shakes his head.

"No you're not. You're only sorry you got caught," Gerard says.

"Take care of him," Linda says, starting to tear up and act like she's actually given a damn about him before. Gerard rolls his eyes.

"Goodbye, Linda," Gerard says, starting to turn around. He looks at Frank, who's leaning against him, starting to shiver.

"Hey, I've got blankets in the car. It'll be okay," Gerard says softly. He sees Frank nod, and Gerard walks Frank out of the house, and Frank leaves that place for the final time.

It's cold outside, but they manage, and Gerard opens the door to the backseat so he can lay Frank down, and he goes to the trunk to get a blanket, and he wraps it around Frank. Gerard then closes the door and then gets in the drivers side, and he looks over at Frank, and he reaches his hand out to gently run his fingers through Frank's hair.

"You're safe now. I promise," Gerard says. Frank doesn't answer him, and Gerard is sure that he fell asleep already, so he starts the car and turns on the heat, and he begins driving Frank to his new home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading : )


	18. Water

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is in Gerard's perspective

The radio in Gerard's car is turned off so he can listen to Frank in case he's able to say anything. On the way home, Gerard decides to call his dad, because he remembers that his father went to college to become a doctor, even though he ended up choosing a different career path halfway through the course. Maybe his dad can help, because as far as Gerard knows, nothing is broken, and he's not going to force Frank into a hospital if he doesn't need to go, because hospitals scare the living shit out of him.

He dials his fathers number, and after only a couple rings, he answers.

"Hello?" His dad asks.

"Dad, it's Gerard. Are you coming home soon?" He asks.

"No, I didn't plan on going home until around ten or so. Why?" He asks. Gerard starts tapping his fingers on the steering wheel, and he turns his head for a second to look at Frank. He's still asleep in the backseat.

"Do you remember anything from those doctor classes you took?" Gerard asks. 

"Maybe? I don't know. It's been a while. Why? Did you hurt yourself?" His dad asks, sounding a little concerned. 

"No, I'm alright. Frank isn't though. He got beat up pretty bad," Gerard says.

"Where is he? And do you know what's wrong?" He asks. Gerard turns his head to look at him again. Still asleep.

"He's sleeping in the backseat of my car. I'm driving him to our house," Gerard says.

"Why don't you take him to the hospital?" He asks.

"I don't think he's broken anything though. All I think they would do is just try to clean everything, and we can do that at home. He's scared of hospitals, and I don't want to put him through that," Gerard says.

"I understand. I'm at work though, Gerard. I can send Mikey home if you need help, though," He says. Gerard frowns and sighs. Mikey is all the way over at Ray's place for the weekend, and he can't be much help even if he was home.

"No, don't bother. I can wait," Gerard says with a sigh.

"Sorry, but I'll be home tonight," He replies.

"Okay. Bye," Gerard says, and he hangs up before his dad can say anything back, because that would be out of character if he was to ever listen to the other persons goodbye. He looks up into the rear view mirror at Frank and takes a breath.

"I'm sorry, baby," He whispers, wishing that Frank wasn't in this position.

After a few more minutes, Gerard finally arrives at his house, and he opens the backdoor of his car to pull Frank out and into his arms, and Frank surprisingly stays asleep for the whole time. That, or he's pretending to be asleep like a little child that is just getting home late at night, acting like they're sleeping so their parents carry them inside. Either way, Gerard would have carried him in if he was awake. Gerard brings him into the bathroom, and he gently sets him on the floor, and he leans him back against the tub.

Frank is awake now, but he isn't protesting anything that Gerard is doing for him. He looks really tired and dazed and confused. Gerard stands up and goes to the linen closet to go get a towel, and he then goes back to Frank in the bathroom, and closes the door behind himself. He kneels on the floor by Frank, and he turns on the water in the shower, and unhooks the shower head. While he waits for the shower to warm up a little, he helps Frank out of his torn shirt.

His back doesn't look as bad as he thought it would look but he's still going to clean it. He does have a lot of welts and dried blood, and honestly, when all the blood is out of the way, there's really no telling on whether or not it'll look better.

Gerard turns his focus to his original plan when he brought Frank to the bathroom, so he starts washing the vomit out of Frank's hair, and his fingers massage his scalp. Gerard used his soap and washes his hair, silent as he works. Every couple seconds, he'll glance at Frank just to see if he's still with him. He's staring at the door without any expression on his face. Gerard rinses Frank's hair. 

The majority of their time in the bathroom is silent, with Gerard gently tending Frank's wounds. He helps him into new clothes when they're finished, and he carries him into his bedroom and lies him down on his bed on his stomach. Gerard turns on his radio, and he stays next to Frank until he falls asleep. 

When he's sure Frank is out cold, he gets up and goes outside onto the back porch with his pack of cigarettes and a lighter. He sits on the railing of it, and lights a smoke and takes a long drag. He lets himself take a moment to step back and just think. The sky is starting to turn purple, and it's getting chilly in the cold November air. It looks like it might rain soon.

He's tired, and he's not even the one that's been fighting for the past two days. His eyes begin to water, but he doesn't cry. He doesn't want to cry, not yet. 

Frank is alive.

He loves Frank to death, but he hates having to take care of him like this. It's exhausting seeing the person you love getting thrown around and being hurt, and he just wants it to stop completely. He never wants to see Frank like this again. He _needs_ Frank to never go back to Linda. Gerard knows for sure that no matter what happens, Frank will be better off with him than being with his mother. He's safe here, safer than he's been in a long time.

He's thinking too hard, and he finishes his cigarette. He drops it into the ashtray and goes back inside, ready to go lay down next to Frank as he waits for his dad to get home.


	19. Care

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still in Gerard's perspective

Skipping school used to be fun.

It used to just be an escape from reality to go hang out at a park or try and find some abandoned buildings to break into.

Now, it's the exact opposite.

Gerard has been skipping school to deal with reality.

He doesn't like it.

It's Wednesday, five days after Frank was attacked by his mother, and four days after Gerard took him to his house. He hardly knows how Frank is doing. He seems so out of it, and other than getting up to use the bathroom or drink something that Gerard has brought him, he hasn't done really anything. He hasn't even talked much, and he hasn't had any solid food since he got here, and he mostly sleeps all day.

He lets Gerard hold him at night when they're laying down together, but he doesn't say a word.

Gerard's dad came home on Saturday night to check on Frank, but he didn't end up doing much. Gerard did what needed to be done, and that was the end of it. Mikey came home on Sunday, and Gerard had informed him that Frank will be staying with them for a while. He thought it was cool, but he doesn't know the reason why he's here, he just knows that something happened, and he needed to leave his home. He's asked why Frank doesn't go to school and why Gerard has been skipping, but Mikey doesn't ever get a straight answer.

Gerard is going to leave it up to Frank if he wants to tell Mikey what happened.

When Monday morning comes, Gerard asks his dad to call the police to do a wellness check on Linda. Gerard made sure that his dad didn't report what she did to Frank because Frank asked him not to. So, he didn't share that, but the police ended up taking her to a mental institution because she wasn't taking care of herself.

Gerard knows he should get back to school, but he decides not to go again today. He drove Mikey there, and even though Mikey kept asking him to go to school, Gerard decided to go back home so he could stay with Frank so he doesn't get lonely. Frank did tell him it's fine if he goes, but by the way Frank looked when he said that, Gerard could tell that he still wanted him to stay.

Frank is just waking up when Gerard gets back home, and he's walking to the bathroom. Gerard wants to step in and help him, but he doesn't want to stress him out over not being able to get around by himself, so he just watches as he slowly makes his way to his destination, clinging to the wall as he goes. 

When he's finished in there, he goes to join Gerard in the kitchen, and he takes a seat at the table.

"You wanna try and eat anything?" Gerard asks softly, walking over to Frank so he can lean down and kiss his forehead.

"I don't know if I'll be able to yet," He replies quietly. 

"I can get you some soft foods," Gerard says. After a minute of thinking, Frank agrees, so Gerard goes to the fridge. He finds some applesauce and gets a little bit of it in a bowl and brings it to Frank. He starts eating it, but he's only able to stomach about half of it until he's feeling too sick to have anymore.

"Can you help me back to the room Gee?" Frank asks after staring at the half full bowl for a minute or two.

"Yeah," Gerard says, going to Frank and getting his bowl and putting it in the sink to take care of later, and then he goes back to him and starts helping him out of his chair, and holding an arm around his waist as they slowly start walking to the bedroom. Frank lies down on the bed, and Gerard sits next to him, looking down to where his head is resting on the pillow. He lifts his hand and starts running his fingers through Frank's hair.

"Are you sure you're doing okay?" Gerard asks. Frank shrugs.

"I don't know. It's probably gonna be a while until I feel better. Mom fucked me up pretty good this time around," Frank says. 

"I can take you to the doctor if you need to go," Gerard says. Frank shakes his head.

"Don't make me go," He quietly begs.

"I'm not going to make you do anything. If you need to go, though, please tell me. I know you don't like them, but they can help you more than I can," Gerard says.

"I don't need to go," Frank replies, dead set on his answer. 

"Okay," Gerard says. 

They don't break eye contact, even after a minute of not talking. Frank reaches his hand up to gently caress Gerard's cheek. 

"Thank you for taking care of me," Frank whispers.

"You don't gotta thank me. I'm not here because I have to be, it's because I want to be here for you. I love you, Frankie," Gerard says, taking hold of the hand Frank put on his face, and he softly kisses his knuckles. Frank smiles, and Gerard is happy that he could give him a reason to smile, because it's been a while since he's done it last.

"I love you, too," Frank says in response. Gerard move his hand to touch Frank's face, and he gently slides his thumb over Frank's lips.

"If you want to, I'm not going to ask you to stop," Frank says, meeting Gerard's eyes. Gerard makes a small smile, and then he cups Frank's face in the palms of his hands, and he leans down and presses his lips to his boyfriend's mouth. Frank kisses him back slowly.

Their lips only meet a few times, and then Gerard is laying down next to Frank, curling himself around him. Gerard finds Frank's hand, and he laces their fingers together. He presses a kiss to the back of Frank's neck.

"I hope you feel better, baby," He whispers.

"I will soon," Frank replies, and then he closes his eyes and starts to drift off in the comfort of Gerard's embrace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't really know how much more I want to write for this story. I want to have at least five more chapters, but I'm starting to lose interest in this story, and I don't know how much longer I'll continue to write it. If anyone has any suggestions I could add, I will gladly accept your input, but don't expect me to add it in. Thanks for reading

**Author's Note:**

> ok first off, i know nothing about fronks family, this writing is just because I'm hella bored. this was not written to offend anyone, it was written because fiction. not real.  
> anyways, i was bored as fuck when i wrote this because coronacation has given me too much free time than i know what to do with.  
> also i uploaded this on wattpad, (i know, tragic, someone as old as me uses wattpad still. i promise, this is the only thing i posted on there, i just like the layout for writing) but it wasn't getting any views and i liked what i wrote, so I'm transferring it to this hellsite because why not? I haven't finished this yet, and I'm not sure if i will unless someone wants more. i'll probably add a few more chapters in the near future because i don't have to go to work for a while.  
> so that's all, hi, how are you?


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